


Phoenix from the ashes

by bunnysworld



Category: Free!
Genre: Break Up, Drama, First Time, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-05-31 21:16:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 23,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6487675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnysworld/pseuds/bunnysworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Makoto shows up at the Samezuka Academy's indoor pool almost a year after they finished high school, Sousuke never thought that Makoto would fall apart - on him of all people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I did it. I've gone and wrote a fic in a fandom other than my one true love. And I'm not even sure I should do this or if it's right to do it. But when I saw the art, it didn't let me go for days. I've tried to find out the artist, but this art is linked and pinned in so many directions - and I'm probably too dumb to do research in the right way - that I couldn't find out who made this wonderful piece of art. If you happen to know the artist, could you please point me to them as I am using their art as inspiration for this fic and I would like to make sure that it's okay with them. 
> 
> jeanovo kindly pointed me to the artist, who is smlove0319 on twitter. I've just contacted them to make sure they are okay with this. So far I haven't heard back from them.
> 
> Other than that...Merlin fandom, I'm sorry for the detour I'm taking at the moment, but this plot bunny gnawed my ankle raw, it needed to be written.
> 
> Oh, and it's not beta'd. 
> 
> I have a few ideas of how to go on with it, but I'll see what people think to figure out if I will continue at all. If it continues, I'm sure it will turn from Gen to Explicit at one point or other, so the rating will change.

[](http://s11.photobucket.com/user/GermanBun/media/12923285_10153409168031363_2866532066663021044_n.jpg.html)

Sousuke pretended to look at the papers Nitori had asked him to go through and revise. All he saw, though, was Makoto Tachibana, who had unexpectedly showed up about a week ago. He hadn’t seen him since he went away to study in Tokyo last fall and even though it was clearly visible that Makoto didn’t swim competitively anymore, it showed that he had kept working out and there was something about him that Sousuke couldn’t take his eyes off. 

After that last year of high-school, things had changed for all of them. Maybe not so much for him, just that everyone he had ever called a friend had gone away and he still didn’t know what to do with himself. And now Tachibana had tumbled back into his life and Sousuke couldn’t help watching him. Something was off with him, Sousuke noticed. When Tachibana had been chatty and friendly with everyone before, happy to get into the pool and swim, he now barely nodded at people who greeted him and stood at the edge of the pool for endless minutes before he gracefully glided into the water and started swimming. His style of swimming was still powerful and typically Makoto, even though Sousuke, who had spent the year helping coach the Samezuka team, could immediately point out a few minor things in the movements that Makoto had to improve on if he ever wanted to win a race again. Then again, this wouldn’t happen, those days were over.

Only then Sousuke noticed that Nitori still stood in front of him, waiting for a verdict on the training schedules he had asked him to look at. “Looks pretty good. Let me think about the timing of the training sessions for a while. They can probably be optimized.”

Nitori nodded. “Thank you, senpai.”

“Sousuke,” he corrected the younger swimmer for the umpteenth time.

Nitori’s cheeks were heating up and he just nodded once and then turned when they heard commotion from the other side of the pool. 

“Momo!” Nitori yelled and made his way over to where the redhead seemed to be telling his team mates a story with a bit more than just his usually big gestures. He seemed to exaggerate which wasn’t anything new either. 

Just as Nitori reached the group, the young Mikoshiba took a step back, not realizing that he was already standing too close to the pool. He stepped into thin air behind him and Sousuke would have smirked as Momo fell backwards into the water, all flailing arms and yells. What turned the smirk into a frown, though, was Makoto swimming in the very lane Momo fell into, unaware of what was going on at the edge of the pool. It happened way too fast, Sousuke couldn’t even shout a warning. Momo basically fell on Makoto’s head and then came up again, coughing and giggling. The giggles around them died pretty fast when they noticed that Makoto didn’t come up again. Without even noticing, Sousuke had shed his jacket and jumped into the pool, completely ignoring his hurting shoulder as he reached Makoto before anyone else could make it to him. He grabbed him and pulled him to the surface where helpful hands pulled Makoto out of the pool as Sousuke climbed out, too. 

“Tachibana!”

Sousuke was relieved when big green eyes looked at him, even though Makoto didn’t seem to be himself.

Makoto scrambled up into a sitting position while Momo, who was all pale, apologized over and over again. “Senpai! I am so sorry! I should have watched what I was doing. I hope I didn’t hurt you. I’m so sorry!”

Makoto didn’t really react, he just sat there, shell-shocked. 

“Tachibana, look here.” Sousuke knelt next to him and went through the routine he had learned in a first-aid class, checking Makoto’s pulse and the movement of his eyes. “Are you dizzy?”

Almost unnoticeably shaking his head, Makoto just let him do whatever he wanted. 

“Does your head hurt? Did you swallow or even breathe in water?”

Sousuke didn’t notice that all the swimmers had gathered around them and someone had hung his jacket around his shoulders, he just watched Makoto shake his head. When the other man started to shiver, he ripped the jacket off his shoulders again and covered Makoto’s shoulders instead. 

“Nitori!” He bellowed. “Training is over for today, send them home and take Mikoshiba to the nurse. We can’t afford to have an injured swimmer on the team! Everyone else, leave!”

To a chorus of ‘Hai!’s, the others left and the indoor pool fell silent. 

Makoto still hadn’t said a word and Sousuke still kneeled next to him, searching his face, unsure if Makoto was injured or if something else was wrong. 

“Makoto,” he called softly, something in the way the other boy held himself and drew laboured breath making his gentle side surface.

Makoto looked at him, his eyes focussing on him for the first time and as soon as their eyes met, Makoto’s filled with tears. Before Sousuke knew it, the tears streamed down Makoto’s face and he sobbed uncontrollably. 

He had no idea what was going on, but he reached out and pulled Makoto close. He knew it wasn’t the time, but he inhaled deeply. There was the familiar smell of chlorine and something uniquely Makoto and Sousuke’s heart did a funny little flip. 

“Shhh.” 

“He’s…”

“Just let it out.” Sousuke tightened his hold. Whatever it was that make Makoto fall apart like that, on him of all people – they barely knew each other – he needed something stable and if this was all Sousuke could give him, he would do it. 

“Gone.” Makoto sobbed out, a new fit shook him and Sousuke was sure that the moisture he felt on his shoulder wasn’t the water dripping from Makoto’s longish hair. 

He had never been good at comforting people, may it have been team mates who lost races or his family when his grandmother passed away the year before, but he held on to Makoto.

Nitori had switched off the main lights, only the light from the corridor to the locker rooms and the emergency exit signs lit the indoor pool now. It had gotten dark outside, before Makoto had calmed down slightly. “It’s over,” he whispered.

Sousuke stopped himself from nuzzling into Makoto’s hair, the proximity of the warm body in his arms waking feelings he had long hoped he’d buried. It felt almost too good holding Makoto, even though he was still sobbing once in a while. “Hm?”

“Haru…” A new fit of sobbing shook Makoto.

Oh, Haru. Haruka Nanase. Sousuke never understood why everybody wanted to be friends with him. He was a decent swimmer, but his heart had never been into competition and the fight, he didn’t even train hard. And then Haruka had gone with Rin and that had been the end of him and Rin. Whatever they had, it was more than just friendship and when Rin had told him that he didn’t believe in long-distance relationships before he left, it had broken Sousuke completely. Only lately he had pieced himself back together enough to at least not think of their break-up all the time. He had been right in hating Nanase this much when he not only had broken him and Rin but also Makoto. 

He nodded and rubbed what he hoped were calming circles on Makoto’s back, who babbled things that took Sousuke a moment to put into context.

“Called…Australia.” Something about a birthday present that made no sense and finally a whispered. “Dumped.”

Makoto went still in his arms.

Sousuke didn’t know what to say. If he understood all that right, Nanase had broken things off with Makoto. Over the phone. At least he’d had the decency to call and not text. Then again, he had quite the nerve letting Makoto wait for a year before he told him. “Let’s get out of here.”

Makoto didn’t pull back at that.

“You’re staying at my place tonight.” Sousuke decided. “Call your parents and tell them where you are going to be.”

“Not home.”

“You’re not going home.”

Finally, Makoto pulled back and Sousuke only reluctantly let go. The eyes Makoto looked at him with were red and swollen. “They’re not home.”

Sousuke nodded. It made no sense if Makoto called, then. “Let’s go.” He scrambled up and pulled Makoto along.

When they had finally peeled the wet leg-skins off and the pants of their track suits on, Sousuke noticed Makoto hesitating before he pulled the Samezuka jacket off his shoulders to hand it back. “Thank you.”

Sousuke finished dressing and when he noticed Makoto had managed to pull a t-shirt over his head, he held his jacket open. Makoto threw him a questioning look and when he nodded encouragingly, slipped the jacket back on. 

+++

They walked side by side in silence with Makoto occasionally sniffling and Sousuke let them into his tiny place. There was not much to explain, it was a small place where you saw into the small kitchen, the couch – the only place to sit – was still drawn out into his unmade bed. He pointed one way. “Bathroom.” Dropping his bag into a corner, he gestured towards the bed and then went to the few steps over to the kitchen where he first took two of his precious colas out of the small fridge and the boiled some water to make them a bowl of Ramen each. He hadn’t been prepared for guests – he never was, nobody ever came to see him – and hadn’t even planned on having dinner. 

When he turned, Makoto sat on the edge of the bed awkwardly. Sousuke handed him one of the bowls and sat down, too, but with his back to the wall, his legs stretched out in front of him. He reached for the remote and switched on the TV – the only luxury item he owned – and started to eat as if he had someone else sitting on his bed every day. But it seemed to do the trick, Makoto relaxed a bit, took off his shoes and scrambled around until he sat like Sousuke.

“Eat.”

Sousuke knew how difficult it was when you had a big lump in your chest and your stomach was in knots, so he almost smiled when Makoto started to eat slowly. He didn’t comment on it, though and didn’t say anything else. He wasn’t big on talking as it was and this was a difficult topic. After they set their bowls aside, Sousuke found a movie he had seen before but that wasn’t half bad and Makoto didn’t comment, so they both looked at the screen. 

“Thank you, Sousuke, but I better be going.” Makoto didn’t move an inch, though.

Shaking his head, Sousuke looked over. “You’re staying. You can’t be on your own tonight. I will sleep on the floor, I really don’t mind. You’ll have the bed to yourself.” For a moment, he feared that Makoto would start sobbing loudly again when he saw his eyes tearing up, but the other boy just nodded once as a single tear rolled down his cheek. Sousuke reached out and pulled Makoto close, only then registering that Makoto hadn’t taken his jacket off yet. “We can finish watching the movie. Or would you rather play something on the Xbox?”

Makoto snuggled close and shook his head. “Movie is fine.”

Sousuke’s eyes were trained on the TV screen as the team of cops caught the bad guys but he didn’t see what was happening. He was too aware of the firm body pressed against his, of Makoto’s head on his shoulder and the warm muscles moving softly as Makoto finally breathed evenly. It had almost been two years ago that he last held someone like that – under completely different circumstances, but he hadn’t been so close to anyone since then. He had tried to shove this aside, be as normal as he could, but he just didn’t care for girls. So he had done what he was really good at – being alone – and he intended to keep it that way. Now there was a gorgeous bloke in his arms and even in his bed, even though the whole situation was a lot more innocent than this may have sounded. It didn’t help when Makoto wrapped an arms around his middle and relaxed even more, Sousuke’s heart was beating wildly. 

+++

He woke up with a start and blinked. It seemed that it was dawning already. Sousuke had had every intention to sleep on the floor and leave the bed to Makoto, but sometime during the night, he must have fallen asleep and since Makoto was still holding on to him, it was a bit difficult to move anyway. Carefully, he disentangled Makoto’s limbs from around him and slid out of bed. With a bit of luck, Makoto was still asleep when he left for work. He would just leave him a note, telling him that…well, what exactly? Probably that he was welcome to stay as long as he liked and that he would be back in the afternoon? Yes, that sounded good. Taking a quick shower and running the razor over his chin, he got ready as quickly as possible. He had promised his mother to open the shop in the morning and he couldn’t be late. He just had time to make some tea as he scrambled into his jeans and t-shirt. 

Makoto sat on the edge of the bed when Sousuke left the bathroom, his eyes still swollen from all the crying the previous night, his hair adorably tousled. 

“There’s some tea.” Sousuke handed Makoto the cup he just poured himself and took a second cup from the small shelf. 

“This is…” Makoto scratched at his neck and blushed slightly. “It’s a bit awkward, isn’t it?”

“Have you never woken up with another man?” Sousuke knew he wasn’t good at joking, he shouldn’t have said it and make it sound as if this was something he did often. 

Makoto blushed deeply and his face fell again. “Only…”

Only with Haru, that was what he didn’t say. Sousuke snorted, he didn’t even want to know what this good-for-nothing wanna-be dolphin had done with Makoto. 

“I have to go to work.” He took his leather jacket from the hook by the door. 

“You have a job?”

The surprised tone in Makoto’s voice didn’t escape him. “You can stay if you want. I’ll be back after noon.” With that he left.


	2. Chapter 2

When he entered again a few hours later, a little pang of disappointment ran through him when he found his place empty. Of course, there was no reason for Makoto to stay. Sousuke looked around the room and even though he was used to being alone and there was not much space, it felt a bit emptier all of a sudden. There wasn’t a note or any sign that Makoto had been here at all other from the neatly made bed, something Sousuke didn’t manage most days. 

Setting the bag of groceries his mother had forced on him down in the kitchen, he knew he wouldn’t cook anything now. So he changed and grabbed his bag not even ten minutes after entering it; he needed to talk to Nitori about the training schedules and Nitori was to be found at the indoor pool at this time of day. 

Maybe Makoto would be there, too? He had spent his time there in the past week, which was strange anyway. Why didn’t he go to the Iwatobi indoor pool? He had basically grown up there, why would he want to be at Samezuka? 

Sousuke entered the pool area, set his bag down and immediately reached for his shoulder. It felt especially nasty today. He knew he would have to live with the pain for the rest of his life and tried to ignore it as he scanned the swimmers that warmed up or already were in the pool.

“Sousuke-senpai!” Nitori came over. 

“Just Sousuke.” It had become a habit that Nitori would address him as senpai and he would ask him to simply call him by his first name. He wasn’t a swimmer anymore, only a guy who came over to look at the practice. There was no need for the team captain to show more respect than necessary. 

“Sousuke.” Nitori’s cheeks were red when he said it. “Sousuke, did you have time to revise the schedules?”

Looking up at the seats, Sousuke tried to find Makoto, but the other boy was nowhere to be seen. “Not yet. I suggest you go through with them and we’ll make adjustments as we go.”

“He’s not here.”

“What?” Sousuke looked at Nitori, who blushed even more.

“Tachibana-senpai, he’s not here.”

Of course Nitori and all the others had witnessed what happened but they didn’t know that Makoto had spent the night at his place. What would they think if they knew?

“You should start the training.”

Nitori nodded once and turned to gather his team around him, when Sousuke stopped him.

“Nitori? Get me Tachibana’s number.”

Without looking at the boy, he stepped closer to the pool and when the training started, made a few notes about things he needed to point Nitori’s attention to. 

Just as Sousuke shouldered his bag after practice, Nitori came running with a small piece of paper.

“Sousuke-senp…,” he stopped himself. “Sousuke, I have what you wanted.”

“Thank you.” Without looking at it, Sousuke took the paper and stuffed it into the pocket of his track pants.

“As I thought, Nagisa had it.”

Nagisa, the exuberant blond of the Iwatobi team. He was a year younger than the others and should have just finished high school. Not inquiring why Nitori knew how to contact him, Sousuke nodded.

When he was out of the building and made sure that everyone was gone, he slowly pulled the paper out and looked at it. Nitori’s neat handwriting revealed not only Makoto’s phone number but the address of the Tachibana’s house. 

Later, he didn’t even remember how he got there or why he had made the way over, but Sousuke was relieved when Makoto opened the door the moment he raised his hand to knock. There had been an awkward little silence and then they both had started to speak and in the end, Sousuke sat on the couch in the Tachibana’s living room which was about as large as his whole place. 

“I was about to go to your place.” Makoto sat in one corner of the couch and didn’t look at Sousuke. 

“I was at the pool.”

“I thought you might come back at around this time, practice is usually finished by that time.”

Sousuke looked at the other boy, wondering why he would have wanted to come to his place, but delighted all the same. Maybe Makoto didn’t want to be alone for the night? Sousuke knew that you could be able to forget what was bothering you during the day, but the demons came back at night when it was dark and quiet. 

“I took your jacket. I will wash it before I’ll give it back.” 

A part of him had hoped that Makoto would get a bit of comfort out of wearing his old jacket. “Keep it as long as you need it.”

For the first time, Makoto turned his head to look at him. After a long silence, he asked, “Are you hungry? I could cook something?”

“No, thank you. Appreciate the offer, but there is no need to cook.” He had hoped to cook for Makoto. “I…,” he got up, “I better be going. Here’s my number. In case…” In case you need me. But Sousuke couldn’t bring himself to say it. He didn’t want anyone to need him, just like he didn’t need anyone. They were all on their own. And then Makoto looked up at him with those incredibly green eyes. “Or…or maybe we could go for a walk?”

Makoto nodded and got up, too. 

Silently they walked through the empty streets and they both seemed to steer towards the hill from where you had a beautiful view over the city and the ocean. 

“The house is so empty.”

Sousuke startled when Makoto said that out of the blue. “Will your parents be gone for long?”

“They asked me to take care of the house until they will be back. They went to get my grandfather, he can’t live on his own anymore.”

“He comes to live with your parents?”

“And the twins.”

“The twins.” Makoto’s grandfather had twins? Wouldn’t that make them brothers of Mr. Tachibana?

“My siblings. Ren and Ran.”

“I didn’t know you had siblings.” 

Makoto nodded. “I do. Don’t you?”

Shaking his head, Sousuke threw him a look. “No.”

“How comes you have your own place?”

Makoto had said more since they’d left the house than the whole night before and Sousuke found that he liked listening to his voice. “It was my grandmother’s. She left it to me. And since I can’t…” he stopped himself. “It’s not much.”

“It’s your own place, that’s amazing. I hoped to have my own apartment by the time I turn 25.”

Sousuke smiled sadly. Makoto had a plan, he knew what he wanted to do. Contrary to himself. “You have a whole house to yourself.”

“For the next couple of days, then it will be crowded again.”

“You can…” Stopping himself, Sousuke didn’t know if this would sound strange. Then he noticed Makoto looking at him. “You could come over and hang out if it gets too crowded at the house.” There, he said it, even though he didn’t know why. He was okay with being alone and usually rather annoyed when someone had to come to his place for repairs or something. 

They’d reached the overview and as they leaned against the railing, Makoto bit his lower lip and seemed to be miles away. It probably had been a bad idea to come here. It was a very romantic place and even Sousuke didn’t feel too good. Rin had kissed him here and he was sure that Makoto and Haru had come to look at the stars together. 

They didn’t speak for a long time. Makoto seemed to be deep in thought and Sousuke just didn’t know what to say. 

“We came here often.”

Sousuke’s head snapped up when Makoto spoke again. 

“It was here where we decided that…” Makoto drew a sharp breath and a shiver ran through his body. “Where we…”

He had been right, this place was special to Makoto, too, but it held too many memories. “Let’s go.” Sousuke turned and took the first steps towards the city. He looked back over his shoulder and saw Makoto hesitate before he finally pulled himself away and followed.

When they stood at the corner where Makoto needed to turn right and Sousuke had to go the other way to get home, they both were reluctant to leave. Makoto hadn’t said a word since they left the overview.

“Maybe…” Sousuke rubbed the back of his neck, he didn’t want this to come out wrong. “We could watch another film?”

Makoto looked up at him, he swallowed and sniffed. “Could we?”

Obviously Makoto was dreading time alone. Sousuke didn’t ponder on why he wanted to be there for the other boy in this situation. “You can even pick what we’re watching.” He smiled crookedly. The gentle shy smile he got for an answer made his stomach lurch.


	3. Chapter 3

The movie they’d watched hadn’t been that interesting and at one point, Makoto had started babbling again. It seemed that when his mind was full of something, the words just came out of his mouth without him being able to stop them. Sousuke learned more about Makoto and Haru’s relationship than he ever wanted to know and how this break-up screwed with the plans Makoto had made for the future. He didn’t have much to offer, so he just let him talk and wrapped his arm around him when Makoto scooted close and leaned his head against his shoulder. 

At some point during the night, Makoto had cried silently on his shoulder and Sousuke hated Haruka even more. How dare he hurt a nice fellow like Makoto like that? Then again, it had been pretty obvious that Nanase had a thing for Rin, even before they ran off together. If he was honest, this wasn’t what they had done. They were childhood friends and Rin was so good, it would have been a shame if he stopped swimming. And so was Nanase, he needed to continue, Sousuke knew. Nobody was responsible for their feelings changing, but Rin had been honest enough to tell him that before he left. That Haruka had left Makoto pretending that everything was fine and then called out of the blue to break up…Sousuke gnashed his teeth at the mere thought. 

When Sousuke had come home the next evening, Makoto had been waiting for him. He brought his jacket back, freshly laundered, and had a bowl of vegetables along. Sousuke had been smiling widely. All day long he’d thought about Makoto, not even knowing why. He wasn’t big on having company, especially since he usually was busy with thinking about himself, the situation he was in. It was different thinking about someone else and he liked that he wouldn’t have to be alone for the evening. 

They found a routine and watched some shows while they were eating and sometimes played Xbox. The nights together stopped when Makoto’s parents came back, though.

“Thank you.” Makoto stood in the doorway.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t…”

“What?”

“Walk you back? It’s late.”

Makoto smiled that little smile Sousuke liked so much. “Then you would have to walk back alone and I’d have to accompany you and in the end, we’d be walking back and forth all night long.”

Sousuke blinked and then laughed. “Not the worst way to spend the night.”

“Thank you, but I’ll be okay. And again, thank you for…” Makoto gestured towards the room. “I’m sorry for behaving like that.” He blushed slightly. 

“You felt bad, it’s okay.” I’m glad that I could make you feel better. But Sousuke didn’t say that. 

Makoto nodded. “Thank you.”

“Text me when you’re home.”

Makoto nodded again and then left.

+++

_I made it home. Thank you._

Sousuke smiled. 

_Enjoy your time with your family_

The smile fell from his face. Family. That was another difficult topic. 

_They can be a handful_

Before Sousuke could answer to that, Makoto sent a photo of two children that looked rather alike. 

_Bet those two are_

Makoto sent a smiley back but nothing else. He was probably busy now. 

Which was good, it kept him from thinking about Haruka. Sousuke did the dishes they’d left and then looked around his place. It felt a lot emptier without Makoto here. It’s only been a few days. How could he have gotten used to someone else here so quickly? Sighing, he got ready for the night and tossed himself onto the bed. 

Sousuke blinked awake when his mobile beeped again. Ten minutes past midnight, who would sent a text at that time of day?

_Can’t sleep._

_Your family bugging you?_

_They don’t understand why I’m not in a good mood. They don’t really know._

_You haven’t told them?_

_No. They suspected, probably._

What could he answer to that? Liking men wasn’t something that was common and accepted in this country, especially not in small towns like theirs. 

_Can I come over?_

Without hesitation, Sousuke typed ‘sure’. It had nothing to do with him liking Makoto being over, holding him, feeling his muscles move under the worn t-shirts. Makoto needed a place where he could be himself and if Sousuke could provide this, he would. Which was weird, Makoto wasn’t even a friend or anything. They had been rivals. In a former life. Oh well, maybe he was something that resembled a friend now. It had been a long time since Sousuke had a friend.


	4. Chapter 4

As they lay on Sousuke’s bed again, Makoto’s head on his shoulder, as if it was something they’d done a thousand times, Makoto looked up at him. 

“I’m bothering you over and over again and you don’t seem to mind.”

He didn’t mind, which was strange. Usually he didn’t like dealing with other people. “You needed someone who understands and that’s probably me.”

“Thank you.”

“Stop saying that.”

Makoto snuggled closer and draped his arm around Sousuke’s middle. “It’s soothing to listen to your heart beating.”

Sousuke closed his eyes and absent-mindedly ran his hand down Makoto’s side. He shouldn’t get used to this so much. Makoto only needed him as a friend in these difficult times. He would go back to university after the hiatus and they would probably never see each other again. He was just the person to be there, nothing more. And he wouldn’t want it any other way either. He was a mess, he knew that, he couldn’t drag anyone into it, especially not Makoto. 

“Sou?”

The way Makoto whispered his name pulled Sousuke out of his thoughts. “Hm?”

“What is this job you’re leaving to each morning?”

Makoto had never asked him anything like this before. “I’m helping my mother in the shop for a few hours each day before I go to help coach the team.”

“So you decided to take over the shop when your parents can’t work anymore.”

Sousuke was silent for a while. “No. Father doesn’t even know I’m there most days.”

“Huh?” Makoto raised his head to look at him.

“After…after they found out…father became very sick, he can’t work in the shop at the moment. He thinks that mother does it all on her own. She lets me help her.”

“I’m sorry about your father. I can imagine that he put all his hopes in your swimming. I just don’t understand…it’s not your fault that you can’t do that anymore.”

“It is.” Sousuke sighed. “If I hadn’t forced it and given the shoulder enough time to heal, I could still be competing. But that’s not what he was so disappointed about.”

Makoto didn’t comment.

“They found out about Rin. Someone had seen us in town.”

Closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against Sousuke’s shoulder, Makoto sighed. “But you’re still their son.”

“The one who failed them in everything. No medals, no grandchildren, no future.”

“Don’t say that! He will come to terms! He has to. And you do have a future. You just need to find out what you really want to do.”

“Makoto, all I’ve ever wanted to do was swim, compete, be the best.”

“You still can be.” Makoto looked at him again. “You just have to find something that you want just as much a swimming.”

“It’s been a year. More than that, even. My life’s in pieces. There just is nothing that I’m good at.”

It wasn’t easy to talk about it. He had never talked about this with anyone. He’d had no one to talk to and he’d never felt that anyone would understand anyway.

Makoto frowned but didn’t comment. He just tightened his hold on Sousuke and for the first time it felt as if Sousuke wasn’t comforting Makoto, but Makoto was comforting him.


	5. Chapter 5

Makoto’s parents hadn’t taken it very well that their eldest left the house in the middle of the night only to return in the morning when everybody had already been looking for him. The explanation that he spent the night at a friend’s place hadn’t been enough, so Sousuke went to the Tachibana’s house for Makoto’s parents to meet him. It almost felt as if he was there to meet his future in-laws, they asked him questions and he felt inspected. 

“Are you the new Haru-senpai?” Ren asked and Sousuke didn’t know what to answer to that at first. 

“I’m Sousuke, not Haruka. I did swim, but I stopped, like your brother.”

Ran stood close and looked at him. “You have black hair and blue eyes, too,” she observed. 

“Ran, stop bothering Sousuke.” Makoto scolded her in a way that showed Sousuke that he loved his sibling very much.

“But you smile a lot more than him and Makoto smiles when you’re here. I like you.” She nodded and sat down on the floor and stared up at him adoringly. 

“Oh…thank you.” He hadn’t been too happy to be compared to Nanase and was glad that the girl came to the conclusion that he was better. 

He should have seen it coming but Sousuke was totally surprised when he found himself at the dinner table in the middle of the Tachibana family. He couldn’t even remember when he last had dinner with his family. There had always been the shop and swim training and he remembered quick dinners where no word was being spoken, everyone tired and just wanting to be done so they could retreat for the night. This dinner was loud with conversation and jokes, Makoto’s grandfather had a wicked sense of humour, and Sousuke was sorry when it was over. He’d had a good time. 

“Thank you for doing this.” Makoto brought him to the door after he said his good-bye and thanked Makoto’s family a few times more than necessary to be considered polite. 

Sousuke smiled. “They basically gave their permission for you to stay over whenever you want to.” 

Makoto nodded and smiled back. “It is difficult to share a room with Ren and Ran.”

Taking a deep breath, Sousuke looked at Makoto. “Will you be over later?” There, he said it. It would feel strange to go back to his quiet place after spending some time with this lively family. 

Throwing a look over his shoulder before he answered, Makoto then nodded. 

+++

Sousuke felt weird when he left the bathroom in the morning. It smelled strange and…he stopped and blinked when he found the little table laid and breakfast waiting for him a few days later. 

“Morning.” Makoto turned from the little kitchenette-area of the apartment and poured tea into the waiting cups. 

“What…Makoto?”

Smiling his little smile, a slight blush on his face, Makoto explained. “You’re leaving without breakfast every day and you don’t take much time for lunch before you go to the indoor pool, but it’s important that you eat right.”

“Is that something they taught you at university?”

Makoto chuckled. “Yes, it’s part of what they teach us. Come, sit down, have a bit of breakfast, it won’t hurt you.”

Reluctantly, he sat down. He wasn’t used to having breakfast. If he had enough time, he had a cup of tea while he packed his bag, not more. His body wasn’t used to it either, he wasn’t even hungry. But when he saw the expectant look on Makoto’s face, he reached for the things that smelled so mouth-watering.

Makoto tucked a foot underneath himself and watched Sousuke eat for a moment before he helped himself, too.

“Sousuke?”

“Hmm?”

“I know this is asked a lot as I am here so often. It’s just…the house is so loud with the twins being at home all day and I need to study.”

Setting his cup of tea down, Sousuke looked over. “There’s a spare key underneath the cup over there.” With that he got up, he was late now anyway. “Mother is waiting.”


	6. Chapter 6

Sousuke couldn’t think of anything else all day long. First, Makoto had made breakfast for him and then he had given Makoto the key to his place, his realm, the tiny part of this word that was his and his alone, where he usually didn’t tolerate anyone else. What did it mean that he had done it and didn’t even mind?

He nearly ran over an elderly lady at the shop and almost dropped a glass of pickles. He needed to help mother, he had to concentrate. But that part was difficult since Makoto’s little smile as he had made him breakfast appeared in his mind over and over again. 

Would Makoto be there when he got back to get his swim bag? Sousuke knew he had to leave again, he had promised Nitori to go over a few things with him and to supervise the training of some new team members. Then again, he didn’t want to disturb Makoto’s studies. To his disappointment, the place was empty when he came back.

When he entered his the apartment the next time, Makoto was there, sitting at the table, staring at the screen of his laptop, his glasses perched on the tip of his nose as he turned and scribbled some notes onto a sheet of paper. 

Sousuke put his bag down and tried to be as quiet as possible; of course his appearance didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Hello! I hope you don’t mind. I made a bit of a mess of your table.”

“Not at all.” Sousuke went to the small fridge and took a coke out. “Want one?”

“No, thanks. I brought some tea that I made while I studied. Mother didn’t let me leave without dinner.” Makoto smiled brightly.

Oh, so Makoto only just came over and he’d already had dinner. “You don’t need to bring tea, there’s enough here on the shelf. Unless you only drink something fancy that I can’t provide.”

“Mother said I can’t just eat and drink your things, that’s why she made me bring dinner. We don’t have to cook.” Makoto had gotten up and pointed to the food he’d brought. His face fell. “You haven’t eaten already, have you?”

Shaking his head, Sousuke lifted the lid of one of the bowls. Whatever it was, it smelled wonderful. “Thank you. Please thank your mother from me, this looks great.”

“Just let me remove my things from the table.” 

Before Sousuke could protest – they could take their bowls and sit on the bed, they’d done that before – Makoto had put his things aside and made room for dinner. 

When they were done eating, Sousuke put the bowls aside. “If you still have to study, go ahead, I can do the dishes, it’s not much anyway.”

“There’s this one chapter in anatomy that I still have to go over. I should be done soon, though. Are you sure I shouldn’t help?”

Sousuke chuckled. “I do the dishes, you do your stuff and then we both will be done and can do…whatever.” He turned and cleaned the bowls and chopsticks, it was no big deal and was only fair. Makoto had brought dinner, he washed up. 

When he had dried the last bowl, he pondered what else to do. He didn’t want to ask Makoto how long he would need, that would only disturb his concentration. So he went to his small closet and pulled a fresh t-shirt from the shelf. He tossed it on the bed and pulled the one he was wearing over his head. Out of habit, he reached for his shoulder and turned it in this and that direction. His muscles were especially stiff tonight, so the shoulder was hurting more than usual. Oh well, he’d gotten used to it. 

He picked the fresh t-shirt up and half-turned as he unfolded it to put it on. That was when he caught Makoto looking. Sousuke turned his hurting shoulder away and shook the t-shirt. Why wasn’t it doing what he wanted it to do? “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just…I didn’t think your shoulder would still bother you that much.”

“Some days are worse than others.”

Makoto put his glasses next to his laptop. “And today is one of the worse days, isn’t it?”

“I’ve been stocking shelves almost all morning and then didn’t move around much during practice.” Sousuke shrugged and even that hurt today.

“What have you tried?” Makoto got up and came over.

“What do you mean?”

“Treatments? What did you do so far?”

Sousuke felt himself retreat, he had never told anyone what they had done with him at the various doctor’s places. They all had made him set his hopes high and then crushed him again. He took a deep breath and told Makoto how they all poked and prodded him, given him lots of expensive treatments that all lead to nothing. 

“I’m sorry.”

He looked up. “Not your fault, no need to be sorry.”

“Yes, but…I stopped swimming because I wanted it. You were forced, the decision taken from you, that’s horrible.” 

Makoto stood close but before Sousuke could feel sorry for himself again, the other boy smiled. “When was the last time you’ve had a massage? And I’ve just read that being in the water can have a healing effect, too. When was the last time you were in the pool? Other than working out or rescuing…” Makoto blushed. “Rescuing me from drowning. I’ve never thanked you for that.”

Sousuke didn’t say anything. 

“Thought so.” Makoto nodded. “Let’s go!”

“Where to?” 

“The pool.” Makoto looked at him as if he’d just said the most logic thing ever.

“The pool?” Sousuke crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What for?”

Makoto sighed. “Relaxing. And if you’re relaxed enough, I’ll give you a backrub; that should help with the pain a bit.”

Sousuke wasn’t convinced, but he put his t-shirt on and followed Makoto, who led him to the Iwatobi swim club. 

“Here?”

Nodding, Makoto produced a key to one of the back doors. “I still have this from when I was helping out here. Nobody will disturb us and the Samezuka pool is just too big and competitive-ly for this.”

“Competitive-ly?’ Sousuke raised an eyebrow but Makoto just chuckled. 

They got changed quickly and then stood by the pool side. Sousuke had never been here before, there just never had been a need to. The pool was usually occupied by children and people who just came here for fun; at least that was what he had heard. He threw Makoto a sideways look. 

Makoto stood there, staring at the water, worrying his lower lip with his teeth. 

“Want to leave?”

Shaking his head, Makoto stepped forward and slid into the water. “I need to do these things,” he said when he came up again and shook the water out of his eyes. “I have to move on, get over it, let go.”

Sousuke stared at Makoto. He knew he was right, he would have given him the exact same advice. Why was it so hard to go through with it, then? He’d been standing still for more than a year now, it seemed impossible to get over it and to let go with the constant reminder of his failure. His shoulder hurt even more now. 

“Come on in.”

“I’m not supposed to swim.”

“There will be no swimming.”

“What am I doing in the water, then?”

“Come on in, it’ll do you good.”

Sousuke got up on one of the starting blocks. 

“No!”

“What’s wrong now?” Sousuke started to get irritated.

“Just jump in. We’re not here for competition.”

This was weird. Sousuke didn’t know it any different. The last time he’d just jumped into a pool without purpose, he had been a child. But he still stepped forward and jumped in. Not as gracefully as he would have done if this was a race and with his feet first. 

“Was that so bad?” Makoto smiled.

“What are we doing now?”

“How about some floating?”

“Makoto, I know how to float.”

“Show me.”

Sousuke knew a challenge when he heard one, but this didn’t make sense. He lifted his legs and laid on the water, looking up at the ceiling. “See?”

Makoto stepped close. “Your behind is too deep in the water, you can’t float for long.” 

Before he knew it, Sousuke felt Makoto’s hand on his butt. He yelped, folded and finally stood in the water while Makoto flailed about. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to correct your…”

Sousuke caught Makoto’s hands. “It’s okay, you just surprised me. Give a guy a warning before you do something like that, alright?” He tried to act cool, but his heart was beating quickly. They slept in the same bed most every night and usually Sousuke had his arm around Makoto while he felt the weight of Makoto’s arm around his middle. They had never done more than that, though.

“Alright.” Even though the swim club was just lit by the moonlight coming through the glass parts of the roof, it was clearly visible that Makoto had blushed crimson. “I’m sorry.”

“Show me what I’m doing wrong.” Sousuke let go and started to float again.

Makoto watched for a while. “You’re fighting too hard. Relax, let go.” He made his way up to Sousuke’s head and held on to his upper arms from beneath. “Here, I got you, you won’t sink, now let go.”

The last time someone had given him orders while he was in the water, it had been his coach, yelling at him from the edge of the pool and he had tried harder and harder. It was totally strange that Makoto supported him and asked him to relax. 

“Breathe with me, Sou.” Makoto moved around a bit and Sousuke soon felt one of his hands in his back the other under his shoulders. He would have smiled at the shortening of his name, not many people did that, but he was too busy listening to Makoto breathe. In and out. In and out. It was oddly soothing. 

“There we go. In and out.”

It took them a few more minutes and Sousuke felt more relaxed than in a long time. 

“Not bad for starters.” 

He heard the smile in Makoto’s voice and opened his eyes. His feet sank to the ground and he noticed Makoto standing very close. What would happen if he just kissed him now? His cheeks flushed at the mere thought. If he were honest, he had thought about doing just that for a while now, but he couldn’t do it. Makoto was still grieving the loss of his relationship, this wouldn’t end well. And he didn’t want to chase away the only friend he’d had in a long time. 

Makoto just stared at him before he cleared his throat. “Let’s get out. I promised you a massage.”

Sousuke exhaled audibly. “The shoulder is already a lot better. There’s no need…”

“Nonsense.” Makoto pulled himself up at the edge of the pool and gave Sousuke a good view of his tight arse. “I promised and you’ll feel better afterwards.”

Sousuke had no idea how he should survive this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here it is, the chapter where the story turns from G to NC-17.   
> Couldn't leave poor Sousuke hanging there with a bad case of blue balls, could I? ;)

They walked back in silence and Sousuke got more nervous with each step he took. He opened the place and let Makoto in. 

“You…you don’t have to…”

“I promised. Do you have some kind of lotion?”

Sousuke blushed, the only thing coming to mind the lube he had in his nightstand. A guy had needs, so what? But he couldn’t tell Makoto. What would he think of him?

“Maybe in the bathroom?” Makoto made his way over and Sousuke just stood there, not knowing what to do. He had been very relaxed in the water, but that was gone now. 

A triumphant cry made him turn his head. 

“I found something. We can use that, can’t we?”

Sousuke nodded when he saw what Makoto was holding. Just some lotion that he had in his bathroom forever. “Sure. What do you want me to do?”

Makoto smiled at him. “Just take your t-shirt off and lie down.” 

While Sousuke obeyed, he noticed that Makoto was taking his t-shirt off, too. “What…?”

“Don’t want to soil it.” Makoto looked at him expectantly as he hung his t-shirt neatly over the chair. 

Sousuke laid down and tried to get comfortable. He jerked when he noticed that Makoto was straddling him.

“Relax.” Makoto whispered and Sousuke heard the bottle being opened. “I’m warming this in my hands first, it’s not good if it’s too cold on your tense shoulders.”

“Shoulder.”

“Shoulders. It’s unlikely that only one of your shoulders is tense, so I’ll take care of both of them, okay?”

Sousuke closed his eyes and took a quick breath when he felt Makoto’s hands on him. “Is this something they taught you at university?” Maybe, if he kept up some light conversation, his body would keep from reacting?

“Not really, but I took Anatomy and that taught me a lot about the way muscles and tendons work together. But you have to tell me if it hurts.”

Soususke just nodded. He tried to concentrate on the words Makoto was saying, but it was like Makoto’s voice was flowing over him as his hands gently worked on his tense muscles. He hissed when Makoto caught a spot that was especially tight.

“Sorry.” Makoto whispered, close to his ear.

The warm breath ghosting over his skin was all he needed, his body took over and he grew hard. It was all too much. For more than a year, nobody had touched him - at least not in this way; being at the doctor’s and his own hands didn’t count – and now a gorgeous guy was sitting on him, shirtless, and massaged his shoulders. 

“You need to relax, Sou.”

“Kind of difficult,” Sousuke managed to say despite his gritted teeth. 

Makoto immediately took his hands away. 

“No!” Sousuke’s head, that he had lifted a bit, slumped into the pillow. Makoto’s hands on him were torture, but he missed them the moment they were gone. 

“Does it hurt? Am I doing something wrong?”

“No, not at all.” You are doing it too well. But he couldn’t say that. He couldn’t even shift to adjust a bit better since Makoto was sitting on the small of his back. 

“Then I continue, alright?” Makoto’s voice was much too cheerful as he opened the bottle of lotion again. 

Sousuke sighed when he felt the strong fingers on him and his eyes drifted shut. Yes, it did hurt a bit when Makoto dug his fingertips in especially tight spots, but he did it so gently that shivers ran through Sousuke. 

“Better?”

Nodding slightly, Sousuke felt himself relax. He listened to Makoto’s breathing and his own breathing adjusted to that, just like it had in the pool. His hard-on didn’t go away, though.

“Alright, that’s all for now.”

When Sousuke didn’t react, Makoto leaned forward and whispered. “Sou? Did you fall asleep?”

Sousuke shivered again. Did Makoto have the slightest clue what he was doing to him? “No.”

“Did you like it?” 

Feeling Makoto straightening up again and getting off of his back, Sousuke nodded. “Yes, thank you.” He couldn’t look at Makoto now, unsure of what he would do if he looked into those large green eyes, so he scrambled around and turned his back towards him. It would take a while for his hard-on to subside and Makoto didn’t need to notice, that would be too embarrassing. He was just friendly, as usual, trying to help, nothing more. 

Sousuke closed his eyes when he felt Makoto snuggling against him from the back. He felt Makoto’s nose in his neck, the tip touching his skin, the warm breath once again sending shivers through him. 

“You smell so good.” 

“That’s just the lotion.” Think of something else, think of…Sousuke couldn’t think of anything but how close Makoto was and how good it felt and how wrong it was that it felt so good. 

He gasped when Makoto draped his arm around him. They had done that often, just not in this position. Makoto’s chest was pressed to his back and his hand on Sousuke’s abdomen felt wonderful. And there was something else he felt. Makoto’s hard-on pressed against his arse. There were a few layers of fabric between them as they were both wearing their sweatpants, but it was unmistakable. Could it be that…?

Swallowing hard when Makoto’s hand started to wander, gentle fingertips caressing his skin and soft lips kissing his shoulder, Sousuke held his breath. This was wrong, they shouldn’t do it, but it felt too good for him to stop it. 

Makoto’s fingers paused at the waistband as if they were waiting for permission. Sousuke just couldn’t stop them, he hadn’t felt like this in ages and he didn’t want it to end. Carefully, he shoved back against Makoto.

That was enough for the other boy to slide his hand deeper and Sousuke gasped loudly when he felt firm, warm fingers around his dick. 

“Are you alright?” Makoto whispered against his shoulder.

Nodding quickly, Sousuke tried to shove into Makoto’s hand. It was quite different from his own, his sweatpants and boxer briefs were in the way and the angle was a bit awkward, but it was heaven. Clutching the sheet in front of him, he moved back against Makoto.

Makoto kept on kissing his shoulder as he jerked him off and started to push against him and Sousuke knew he wouldn’t last long but he didn’t want it to end, so he bit his lower lip hard to hold back. Unfortunately, his body had a mind of its own and after a few more strokes he came.

It only took a few more pushes and Makoto tensed behind him, then he rolled onto his back. Sousuke already missed the warmth of his body. As he tried to catch his breath, Sousuke felt Makoto getting up. Okay, that made it pretty clear. Makoto had just taken the chance to get off, he didn’t want anything more. Sousuke squeezed his eyes shut, so he didn’t have to look at Makoto walking by. 

He had no idea when he had started feeling like this about the boy with the impossibly green eyes. Sousuke just knew it was there, that feeling that he had mourned for a year. Only that now it wasn’t Rin anymore he was thinking of. It was Makoto. Makoto, who was about to leave.

He yelped when a wet cloth hit his face. “Wha..?”

Makoto grinned widely at him, even though there was a blush on his face. “Here, clean up or you’ll be all sticky in the morning.” A small towel followed. 

Sousuke blinked. Just as he had been certain that Makoto was done and leaving, he did something considerate as this. Was there anything not-likeable about that boy? Cleaning up quickly, Sousuke didn’t dare to look at Makoto, who had moved to the other side of the bed again. He tossed the cloth and the towel in front of the bed when he was done and then settled in for the night. 

As soon as he had found a comfortable position, Makoto snuggled close again and wrapped his arm around him from behind. Sousuke listened to Makoto’s even breathing but he couldn’t sleep. His heart was still beating fast and the thoughts were whirling in his mind; he couldn’t fall asleep for a long time.


	8. Chapter 8

When he woke up, Sousuke feared to find his place empty. But there he was, Makoto, making breakfast as it seemed. Sousuke couldn’t help the warm fuzzy feeling in his belly. But it was wrong. Makoto hadn’t run last night, but it didn’t mean he was in long term either. They wouldn’t work anyway, with him being stuck here and Makoto going back to university. With what he was making from his job as a coach and what his mother snuck him once in a while, he could survive, but he wouldn’t be able to travel to Tokyo every weekend. Makoto was a student, he wasn’t rich either, so they would have to stick to skyping and texting but they both knew that long distance relationships never worked out. 

“What’s the sad look?” Makoto smiled questioningly at him. 

Sousuke tried to smile back. “Nothing.” The smile felt fake on his face. 

“Get up, sleepyhead, breakfast is almost ready.” Makoto turned back to the kitchen.

He would get a shower first. Maybe talking was easier if he felt fresh and a bit more awake. Oh, who was he fooling? He was stalling, he knew. So with a sigh, he got up and just walked over to the table. 

“What’s wrong?” Makoto had put a few more things on the table and sat down across from him. “Do you…”

“Makoto…”

“Is it about…”

The fearful look on Makoto’s face made Sousuke’s heart clench, but he nodded. “It…what was it about?”

Blinking, Makoto pulled back a bit. “I thought…I thought you knew what it was about.”

“Well, the actually _thing_ I know about. Not all of it, but what we did last night, yes.” Sousuke bit his lower lip. He hadn’t meant to give away that information. “It’s just…Mako…I can’t be a rebound.”

Makoto stared at him. “A rebound? What makes you think that?” 

“You…you just broke up with…with…” Sousuke couldn’t even bring himself to say the name. “And you will be gone in a few weeks anyway.” Fixing his eyes on the chopsticks next to his plate, Sousuke tried everything he could to avoid Makoto’s stare. 

Slumping into his chair, Makoto took a deep breath as if to say something, but no words came out of his mouth. “Sou…,” he finally whispered and shook his head. 

The way Makoto said his name made Sousuke look up. All he saw was him shaking his head. “Oh.” Sousuke felt sick. There he had managed to forget a part of his past and now it happened again. Maybe he just wasn’t made for anything but that. Nobody wanted to be with him, to keep him. Once again, he had made himself believe that he was worth it and yet again, he had been wrong. 

“No! That’s…how could you think that?” Makoto repeated, still staring at him with wide eyes and a shocked expression on his face. “I…I would never do such a thing.”

“Why did you do it then?” Resignation was very clear in his voice.

Makoto blinked. “Because I like you.”

Sousuke’s head snapped up again. “You…you do.”

“And I thought you liked me, too. I’m sorry if I was mistaken.” Makoto’s face fell. 

“You weren’t.” Sousuke watched as Makoto lifted his head and a beaming smile showed on his face, his whole world lit up. 

“Then…then we’ll work out the rest. I could stay here or you could come to Tokyo with me and we…”

“Makoto,” Sousuke interrupted him. “Let’s not make plans.”

Makoto reached across the table and squeezed his hand, the wide smile still on his face. Sousuke took the chance to grab Makoto by the wrist and pull him around the small table and onto his lap. He liked that Makoto was so tall that he had to look up at him. Soon, he closed his eyes as Makoto kissed him softly. 

Pretty quickly, their kiss heated up and Makoto moved around so once again, he straddled Sousuke. He wrapped his arms around Sousuke’s neck again and looked into his eyes. “Do you have to go to work?”

Sousuke nodded. 

“Soon?”

“In a bit.” Sousuke’s hands stroked up and down Makoto’s back.

“Enough time for…” Makoto moved and pressed front against Sousuke’s belly, letting him feel how hard he was. 

Sousuke bit his lower lip and moaned. “I…you know…it wasn’t…”

Makoto stopped all movement and pulled back a bit. “It wasn’t good? You didn’t like it?”

“Come here, you dork.” Sousuke pulled him back and kissed him again. Then, as Makoto nuzzled into his neck, he whispered, “I loved it. I just…haven’t done it all.”

He felt Makoto’s lips pulling into a smile against his neck. “From what you said earlier, I figured that much.”

“We don’t have the time to…” The blush burned high on Sousuke’s cheeks. It wasn’t easy to tell someone that you were basically still a virgin. 

Makoto kept kissing his neck and found an especially sensitive spot. “There’s still something we can do about this.” He wiggled and not only let Sousuke feel his hard-on again but made Sousuke even harder. 

“If you keep that up, there will not be much left of ‘this’.” He shoved Makoto back a bit, already breathing hard.

“Quick. Off with the clothes.” Makoto got up and pulled the bit of clothing that he wore off quicker than Sousuke could blink. For the first time, he got a good look at Makoto. Not that he hadn’t seen him before and the legskins he wore at the pool left little to the imagination, but seeing him naked was different still. 

Makoto put his hands on his hips. “Are you going to waste the little time we have with looking?”

Sousuke growled and jumped up, clumsily getting out of his sweatpants and underwear on the way to the bed, where he flopped down not very gracefully on his back.

Giggling, Makoto dove in right next to him. “Do you have anything?”

“You mean like…” Sousuke paled. He’d just told Makoto that he hadn’t gone through with it all the way yet and they didn’t have much time anyway.

“Like lube or so. The lotion was okay, but it’s not the same.”

Nodding nervously, Sousuke pointed to the little nightstand and watched Makoto pull the drawer open. 

“There we go!” He pulled the tube out and put a generous amount on his hand before tossing it aside. Then he moved close again. 

Sousuke watched with beating heart but then Makoto was kissing him and he felt Makoto’s hand on his cock again. He sighed into the kiss and moved closer and his eyes flew open when he felt Makoto’s dick against his, Makoto’s fingers around the both of them. “Fuck, Mako…” 

Makoto stopped and looked at him, not letting go. “Not good?”

“Fantastic! Go on!” This was even better than just Makoto’s hand! Their dicks moving together into the slippery fist…Sousuke felt like his head was going to explode any minute. He grabbed Makoto’s wrists and turned them around, so Makoto was on his back and moved against him. The pressure was different now with their dicks pressed together and in between their bellies but the movement was almost better. 

“Sou…” Makoto bucked up against him. “Sou!”

Getting up on his elbows, so he could look at Makoto, Sousuke leaned down to kiss him again. He’d never done it like this before. A few handjobs, some rubbing against each other fully clothed in the locker room, one or two attempts at blowjobs that ended in gagging and giggling, but nothing ever like this. “I’m…I’m…” 

Before he could warn Makoto, he felt the man tense up underneath him and shoot his load between them and Sousuke followed suit. 

He almost collapsed on Makoto and panted into his neck. 

It took them both a while to get their breath back and then kissed lazily for a while. 

“You’ll be late.” Makoto whispered.

“Don’t care.”

Makoto ran his hand through Sousuke’s hair, grabbed it playfully and pulled Sousuke’s head back a bit. 

Expecting another kiss, Sousuke went with it and didn’t struggle.

“Your mother will be waiting.”

Making a face, Sousuke huffed. 

Chuckling, Makoto leaned in for a quick kiss. “Sorry, but we can’t make her angry for you being late.” He slapped Sousuke’s butt. “Go, get a shower, I’ll clean up here.”


	9. Chapter 9

Sousuke was in such a good mood all day long that not only his mother commented on it but even Nitori threw him side-ways looks. He must have looked like a dork, smiling for no reason, but he couldn’t help it. 

When he came back, the place was neat and tidy but it lacked a very important thing: Makoto. 

Only a few weeks ago, Sousuke hadn’t minded coming home to an empty apartment. He had loved the feeling that he could just close the door behind him and shut the world out. He had hated someone else being there, it had crowded the place and taken away his room to breathe. Now the place, as small as it was, seemed too empty. 

Sousuke pulled out his mobile.

_Hey_

It was stupid. Makoto would soon be on his way here and texting him now felt like stalking. 

_Hi! Might take a few moments, have to help grandfather_

Oh. Okay, that was important. 

_Need help?_

Sousuke didn’t have grandparents anymore and his grandmother had been able to live on her own in this place until the end, so he didn’t know what Makoto might be doing. 

_Thanks, but we’re almost done_

_Tell him I said hi_ He didn’t know why he typed that, but that time he had been at the Tachibana’s house, he had liked the old man who still had a twinkle in his eyes and made everyone laugh with his jokes and comments that he had delivered straight-faced. 

_Will do. See you later <3 _

Sousuke stared at the message. That was a heart, right? The goofy smile came back to his face.

Looking around, Sousuke tried to find something to keep himself busy until Makoto would show up. Usually, he would have cleaned a bit or put things away or even tried an attempt to make his bed, but Makoto had done all these things before he’d left in the morning. 

When he strolled through the place, his eyes fell on the stack of books Makoto had left. There was a brochure of his university on top and Sousuke reached for it and tried to imagine what it was like for Makoto to be a student. Was it any different from being a student in high school? Or was there so much to do that you couldn’t do anything else? Makoto had brought books and was studying even though his classes weren’t on at the moment. He probably was busy all the time. 

Absent-mindedly, he took the brochure, got comfy on his bed and started looking through the offered classes and courses. Makoto had highlighted some of them, so either he had already taken them or he was planning on doing so in the next year. The more Sousuke read, the more sense it made. It looked like Makoto had found a perfect balance of courses to reach his goal and become a physical education teacher or whatever his title would be when he was done. Would he be able to teach other things as well? Sousuke didn’t know but it sounded interesting. 

He was still deeply emerged into the world of classes and courses, tests, exams and points to achieve when Makoto came in. 

Immediately he came over, sat on the edge of the bed and leaned in for a kiss. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Sousuke smiled. He knew his face should be hurting later, his muscles weren’t used to smiling so much anymore. “Everything okay with your grandfather?”

Makoto nodded. “He just wanted some stuff moved and then thought he needed to entertain me with stories about how he courted grandmother.” He blushed slightly. 

Sousuke chuckled. “You’re lucky to still have him and that you’re so close.”

Opening his backpack, Makoto produced some small containers. “There was enough left from dinner and mother thought we might be hungry later. We don’t have to cook!”

“That’s very kind of her.”

Makoto put the food into the kitchen. “Unfortunately I still have to read something for classes. Do you mind?”

“Not at all.” Sousuke shook his head. 

“I see you found yourself something to read, too.” Makoto put the glasses on his nose and reached for his book. Then he crawled across the bed and sat next to Sousuke.

Holding up the brochure, Sousuke turned his wrist back and forth. “Trying to make sense of this.”

“It’s not as complicated as it might look.” Makoto went into explanation-mode, showed him this and that, talked about classes and extra courses and which exams to take when and when he was done, looking expectantly at him, Sousuke was even more confused than before. 

“Lots to do, you will be a busy boy when classes start again.” 

Makoto snuggled against him. “Not too busy to think about you.”

Sousuke’s insides went all fuzzy at that. He didn’t say anything but kissed the top of Makoto’s head. “Read your book.”


	10. Chapter 10

The next couple of days went by in a blurr. Sousuke couldn’t wait to get home and see Makoto. They managed to keep up their routine of studying and cooking together, but skipped the TV-watching and video games for far more interesting activities. There had been a lot of kissing and exploring, more handjobs and even a blowjob that none of them giggled throughout or had to gag. 

“You know what we could do tomorrow?” Makoto asked when they got their breath back. 

“Hmm?”

“I saw a poster for the festival in town.”

Sousuke ran his fingers up and down Makoto’s arm. “We can go if you want to.” They had never done more than go for the occasional walk or to the pool once in a while, nobody had ever seen them doing things together.

“Only if you want to go. We can stay here or do something else, too.”

The excited shine had vanished from Makoto’s eyes and that was something Sousuke couldn’t stand. “No, we’re going to the festival.” They only had a few days left before Makoto had to go back to Tokyo and Sousuke knew that he wanted to spend some of them with his family. He had even been invited to the family dinner before Makoto would board the train but even though he couldn’t refuse to go, he didn’t want to. It would be the last time he would be with this family and Sousuke had enough of last times. 

“You’re so quiet tonight.” Makoto pressed a kiss on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Looking up at him, Makoto frowned. “It’s not ‘nothing’ when you say it like that. And your face turned back into the one I met you with last year. Something is wrong. Talk to me?”

“Our time is coming to an end.” It tore at Sousuke. In the past weeks, he had fallen in love with Makoto, even though he wouldn’t admit it, and now he was faced with yet another good thing in his life going away, leaving him behind. 

Makoto gently nudged him. “It won’t. It will probably be different with you here and me in Tokyo but it will not end.” He pulled back and looked at him, a bit shocked. “Or are you breaking up with me now?”

Sousuke scrambled up. “No. I’m not. But you are, most likely.” He looked away, so Makoto didn’t see the tears welling up in his eyes. 

“Why would I?”

Sniffing, Sousuke rubbed his hand underneath his nose. “Because…”

“Sou.” He could never resist when Makoto called him that and he looked at him. “Sou, I’m not Rin. I’m not breaking up with you just because there are a few miles between us. How often do I have to tell you that you are not a rebound for me?” 

Sousuke sniffed again and watched as Makoto took his hand and laced his fingers with his. 

“When we were at the pool, at the swim club, I realized that for a year I had been chasing a phantom. Haru was my friend, he probably even loved me, but he never really was in love with me. I should have noticed before he called that night. You know, while I always told him everything I’d done and who I had met, he never shared anything, not even before he left. I’ve spent so many nights being sad that I should have been glad when he broke things off officially.”

“Why did you come to Samezuka first?” Sousuke had always wondered. 

“I don’t know. It was like…like I was saying good-bye to that part of my life. Like I had to do it, but it was so much more difficult than I’d thought.” Makoto sat back and wiped away a tear. “Sorry.” He tried to smile. 

“Just…tell me one thing. When Momo fell on you…you weren’t really unconscious, were you?” 

Shaking his head slowly, Makoto averted his eyes. “No,” he whispered, “I wasn’t.”

“Then…why?” Sousuke held on to Makoto’s hand and tried to understand. It had never made sense. Makoto was a strong swimmer and he had come to way too quickly without the signs of a concussion when they pulled him out of the pool.

“At that point in time, it seemed the right thing to do. It felt as if my life was over anyway.” Makoto looked up with watery eyes. “But then there was you.” He huffed out a chuckle. “And I cried on you and it wasn’t beautiful.”

Despite himself, Sousuke chuckled. “Stop quoting Ryugazaki!”

A small grin tugged at Makoto’s mouth. “Thank you, Sou.” 

Shaking his head, Sousuke pulled Makoto close. “No, thank you.” He held onto the other boy, knowing he could never say what he was feeling; that Makoto had made him feel again. For a year he had been certain that he could never let anyone close again. And then there was the stupid Iwatobi-face with the big green eyes and the disarming smile and his fierce way of being friendly, if you wanted it or not and he had managed to crack the wall that Sousuke had built around himself. “I don’t want to let you go.”

Makoto snuggled into him. “You only have to let me go to Tokyo. I will be back soon.”


	11. Chapter 11

Sousuke didn’t want to show anyone that the thought of Makoto leaving tore him apart. So he got ready and went to the festival with him. They looked at things, enjoyed some of the performances and were just about to decide what specialties they wanted to try, when a familiar voice called.

“Makoto! Mako-chan!”

Makoto turned and smiled widely. “Nagisa! Rei!” He greeted his friends.

Sousuke stood by awkwardly. Of course he knew the Iwatobi swimmers. Rei, who couldn’t even swim when he joined the club and who was team captain now and Nagisa, the blond that could get on your nerves pretty quickly with his excited way of telling the most trivial things. They just never were his friends. 

“We haven’t seen much of you while you were here, Mako-chan!” Nagisa complained.

Sousuke threw him a side-ways look and noticed that Makoto was blushing slightly. 

“I’ve been very busy, sorry.”

Rei grinned at Sousuke and Sousuke averted his eyes. Even though Nagisa was babbling about university and that Makoto needed time to study, Rei obviously saw right through them. 

“You’re doing a great job at Samezuka, Sousuke-senpai.”

He looked over again and saw nothing teasing or malice in Rei’s eyes. “I’m doing what I can.” He managed a small smile. Sousuke knew that if he wanted this thing with Makoto to work, he at least had to try to be friends with his friends, too. 

“I’ve heard some scouts say that you’d be a wonderful coach if you had a bit more education in that area.” Rei stopped and stared at him wide-eyed as soon as the words had left his mouth. “I…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…I just…they said…”

Sousuke tried to smile. “It’s okay.” But the words stung anyway. Even Nagisa and Rei had plans for the future and he still hadn’t decided on anything. Without a good education he would get nowhere in life, he knew that much.

“We want to go see the performance of that new band,” Nagisa took over, “What are you going to do?”

Throwing Makoto a look, Sousuke just waited. He couldn’t keep him from spending time with his friends, even though he wanted so spend every minute they still had together.

“We were just about to find something to eat.” Makoto smiled. “Maybe we’ll come over to the stage later.”

Nagisa nodded. “You do that. It was good seeing you again, Mako-chan.” He took Rei’s hand and pulled him along. 

Makoto laughed as he watched them vanishing in the crowd. “He hasn’t changed at all.”

“Some things can’t change.”

Makoto nudged his arm. “Sometimes, change seems to be really bad but in the end, it turns out to be good.”

“Sometimes you sound like a fortune cookie.” Sousuke tried to keep a straight face, but couldn’t help returning the grin that Makoto threw him.

“Come on, I’m starving.”


	12. Chapter 12

Sousuke managed to shove all melancholy aside as they enjoyed what the vendors had to offer. 

“Do you want to go where we can see the fireworks?” Makoto smiled at him. 

Nodding, Sousuke followed Makoto. As much as he had enjoyed watching him when he saw things he liked and tasted foods he never had before, he wanted to spend time alone with him. “Where do you want to go?”

Makoto looked towards the overview. “It will be too crowded there. Let’s go up there.” He pointed to the other hill, the one that didn’t have a path up. 

As soon as they had left the crowd behind and the sounds of the festival faded to a murmur in the distance, Makoto walked a bit closer. Sousuke couldn’t wait for them to be alone. He wanted to wrap his arm around Makoto’s shoulder, he’d wanted to do that all night long, but their little home town wasn’t the place to do this. So he smiled brightly as Makoto reached for his hand as soon as they started to climb up the hill.

They found a spot where they could overlook the town and the harbour. The moon made the ocean sparkle and the soft breeze felt good after the heat in the narrow streets. 

“I like it here.” Makoto looked over and smiled. 

Sousuke finally did what he wanted to do all evening long, he wrapped his arm around Makoto and pulled him close just as the fireworks started. They watched for a while and Sousuke was happy that he had agreed to come along, it was nice out here. 

Makoto leaned his head against Sousuke’s shoulder and then turned his head. Sousuke didn’t need more, he leaned in and kissed him. Had he been shy about showing his affection in the crowd, he didn’t care who saw them now. All that counted that Makoto was close to him. 

They both jerked when the fireworks was especially loud and then chuckled, watching the spectacle a bit more. Sousuke smiled when Makoto squeezed his hand. This was one of the best nights he’d ever had and he never wanted it to end. 

Still sitting in silence, long after the fireworks had ended and the streets got darker as the festival closed, Sousuke hoped that this wouldn’t be the only occasion where they’d experience something like this. But if it was, he would cherish it forever. 

“Penny for your thoughts.”

Sousuke blinked and looked at Makoto. “It’s nice here.”

Makoto smiled. “It is.” He leaned his head against Sousuke’s shoulder. “We could sit here all night…”

“Or?”

“Or we could go home and celebrate some more.” Makoto threw him a mischievous look.

“Tachibana!” Sousuke pulled back and gasped mockingly, the twinkle in his eyes giving him away. 

“What is it, Yamazaki?” Makoto playfully shoved at Sousuke’s arm. 

“You’re not suggesting we’d…” Trying to gasp again, Sousuke had to chuckle.

Even with only the moon lighting the scenery, the light blush on Makoto’s cheeks was clearly visible but he nodded.

“We don’t have much time to…” This probably wasn’t the place to talk about this.

Makoto didn’t look at him. “We have all night.”

“Do you want to…” Sousuke couldn’t even bring himself to say it.

Throwing him a quick side-ways looks, Makoto nodded. 

“All…all the way?” The heart in his chest was pounding faster. Sousuke knew he wanted Makoto, all of him, feel him, everywhere, he just wasn’t sure if he could do it. 

“Any way you want it.”

Taking a deep breath, Sousuke wanted to say something. He just didn’t know how to say it. 

“We can just sit here and watch the ocean, if you rather do that.”

That was so typically Makoto. There was something he wanted, but without blinking an eye, he adjusted to what everyone around him wanted.

“No,” Sousuke scrambled up. “I’m not sure if I can…if we…you know, but I don’t want to waste the night sitting here.”

The twinkle came back to Makoto’s eyes as he took the offered hand and let Sousuke pull him up. “So you say sitting here with me is a waste of time.” 

Sousuke could see how Makoto tried to bite back a grin and leaned in to kiss him softly. “No, it is not, but there are even more things to do. Let’s go.”


	13. Chapter 13

Trying to not show his nervousness, Sousuke stood in his place. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have sex before, they’d done a lot of things. He’d just never gone all the way. Not that he didn’t want to feel Makoto in him, but it would probably hurt as hell. 

Makoto pulled his t-shirt over his head and shoved his jeans down before he noticed that Sousuke hadn’t moved. “Are you alright?”

Sousuke swallowed and nodded. “Yes.” He never had any issues getting undressed in front of somebody else, but tonight was different. 

“Is it your shoulder? Come on,” Makoto tugged at Sousuke’s shirt. “I’ll give you a massage.”

“That’s not what…”

When his shirt was off, Makoto softly kissed his shoulder. “If you don’t relax, we won’t get anywhere. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Sousuke sighed and leaned back into Makoto. His lips on his shoulder sent shivers down his spine. “I’m trying.”

Makoto huffed a chuckled out against his skin. “You make it sound as if even relaxing is hard work.”

Hanging his head, Sousuke smiled, despite himself. “Sometimes, it is.”

A while later, he was stretched out on his bed, his face on a pillow while Makoto worked on his shoulder again. Sousuke tried to shove the thought away that he would miss this. He hadn’t been so relaxed in ages and when Makoto was gone, there was nobody left to make him feel this way. He sighed when Makoto’s slippery thumbs slid up his neck and caught a sensitive spot underneath his hairline. 

He felt Makoto, who once again was straddling him, leaning down and then felt his lips against the spot. “Mako…” Damn, that did it every time. As soon as Makoto had found out that just kissing and sucking this spot – or the one beneath his ear – shot right down to his cock and made him hard immediately, he had used that knowledge mercilessly. A soft chuckle confirmed that Makoto had done it on purpose. “You’re mean.”

“Yup,” came the cheerful answer and Makoto continued the massage, moving around a bit, so he could run his fingers up and down right next to Sousuke’s spine. 

That he moved around like this made Sousuke very aware of the fact that they were both naked, which was nothing new, but feeling Makoto’s dick so close to his arse made him twitch. 

The things Makoto did to him were exciting, though. He always loved the small kisses down his back, the exploring fingertips that stroked his skin just hard enough not to tickle, the delighted little sound Makoto made when he found yet another sensitive spot. 

Sousuke gasped when Makoto started to kiss and nibble his buttock and the motion stopped. “No.”

Makoto sat back on his haunches. “Sorry.”

“Don’t stop!” Sousuke bucked up and wanted Makoto’s hands and lips on him again. 

Leaning down, licking playfully at Sousuke’s ear, Makoto didn’t need to say anything, Sousuke knew he was grinning when he sighed when he felt the large hand gently stroking his butt. 

“Give me the pillows. It’ll be easier then.”

Sousuke wondered what pillows had to do with anything, but he handed them back and Makoto made him lift his hips enough so he could shove them underneath. A fierce blush came to Sousuke’s cheeks, he felt very exposed but Makoto’s hands and lips on him, stroking here, kissing there, once in a while licking, made him forget to think about what he must have looked like. 

Even though he tensed up a bit when he heard the tube of lube being opened a while later, he was squirming and panting in no time. It just felt too good what Makoto’s slippery fingers did to him. He’d never thought he would be so sensitive there. 

Sousuke gasped when he felt the tip of Makoto’s finger intruding his body. 

“Relax.” Makoto whispered. “Breathe with me. In…and out….”

Trying to fight his body’s reaction to tense up, Sousuke listened to Makoto’s voice and his breathing adjusted accordingly. After a while his body allowed the finger in a bit deeper and he couldn’t help but hissing slightly. 

“Sorry.” 

“’s alright, don’t…just…” Sousuke didn’t know what to say. He hoped Makoto would understand. He wanted this but that didn’t mean it wasn’t weird and new. 

He was panting and sweating like crazy by the time Makoto had finally worked three fingers inside. Sousuke felt like it had taken hours and even though his cock had lost its hardness, he didn’t know if he could take much more. 

“I’m going to try now, okay?” Makoto whispered and pulled his fingers out. 

All Sousuke could do was nod and try to not tense up again when he heard the condom wrapper being opened. He wanted to turn his head and see how Makoto put it on, that must have looked hot, but he couldn’t bring himself to move.

Makoto scrambled around and positioned himself. “I’ll go slow.”

Clenching his teeth, Sousuke could hear how excited Makoto was and tried not to yelp when he felt the tip of Makoto’s cock against him. 

“Relax.”

That was easier said than done. Now that it was about to happen, Makoto wasn’t breathing slowly anymore, Sousuke couldn’t focus on that.

He yelled out when Makoto shoved in. Fuck, that hurt!

Makoto immediately stopped any movement and let him adjust a bit before he tried to get in deeper. “Sou…” 

Sousuke tried to not tense up further, but he couldn’t help it. It just hurt too much. Of course he’d read about everything and guys said it only hurt initially and then started to feel really good, but at this point in time, he couldn’t believe it. He groaned through clenched teeth and fisted the sheet. 

Makoto pulled out and slumped to his side. 

“Wha…?” 

“Was about to come…you’re too tight…,” he panted.

Sousuke’s cheeks burned. “Sorry.”

Makoto moved close and put his hand on Sousuke’s back. “Don’t be. You’re not ready and I won’t hurt you.”

“But you’re...”

“We can try something else. Lie on your side.”

Sousuke obeyed since he didn’t have to look at Makoto this way. He felt so ashamed. Wasn’t there anything he could do right? 

“Come here.” Makoto snuggled close from behind and kissed his shoulder. 

“I’m…”

“Shhh,” Makoto cut him off. “We still have something to look forward to some other time.” He caressed Sousuke’s arm and ran his fingertips down his side to his hip. 

Sousuke was very aware of Makoto’s still-hard dick against him and when Makoto caressed him, his own cock started to fill again. 

Makoto fumbled around and Sousuke lay very still. He wouldn’t try it again, would he? But then Makoto pushed his cock underneath Sousuke’s balls. 

“Press your legs together.” He reached for Sousuke’s hard-on and started to stroke him.

A small moan escaped Sousuke. This felt fantastic and it got even better when Makoto started to move. The constant pressure against his balls was wonderful and Sousuke started to shove back against Makoto. Soon they found a rhythm and Sousuke started to pant again. 

Makoto pushed against him and his movements became quicker and quicker. “Sou…”

Sousuke heard the breathless whisper and knew that Makoto wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. The discomfort of before forgotten, Sousuke was very close, too. “Mako…” Tensing up, he came and felt Makoto pulsing between his legs. 

Totally spent, he lay there and tried to get his breath back. That Makoto hadn’t moved and panted into his neck felt great.

“Sou.” Makoto started kissing the sweaty skin on Sousuke’s neck. 

“Hmm?” 

“My Sou.”

Sousuke felt himself blush and caught Makoto’s hand that had drawn lazy patterns on his belly. Since he didn’t know how to reply, he just held on very tight.


	14. Chapter 14

Sousuke was still embarrassed that he hadn’t been able to sleep with Makoto the way he wanted but time ran out. The last couple of days that Makoto was still in town were busy with packing and them taking Ren and Ran to the local zoo. Sousuke, who never had much of a family life, enjoyed the day immensely and Makoto’s siblings seemed to have adopted him, they told him about things they had seen and dragged him along to show him this and that. 

The day that Makoto was supposed to go back came and Sousuke made his way to the Tachibanas’ house. He had been invited for lunch before the family would take Makoto to the train station. 

Sousuke hadn’t slept the night before. The past weeks had been wonderful. Would they be able to keep what they had when Makoto was so far away? What if distance just destroyed everything? He had held Makoto in his arms and watched him sleep, trying to memorize every curve of his face, every movement of his eyes behind closed lids, every little twitch and sound Makoto made while he was sleeping. 

They had decided that Sousuke would come for lunch, but wouldn’t come along to the station. It would be weird to say good-bye with Makoto’s whole family watching. 

That he was very quiet during lunch went unnoticed, the twins talked about their trip to the zoo and that Makoto would be back soon and if not, they could all go to visit him in Tokyo. 

Makoto had smiled at them and then thrown Sousuke a look. They both knew that wouldn’t happen. 

After lunch, when Sousuke had said good-bye to the Tachibanas, Makoto had pulled him into the room he had to share with the twins. 

They stood awkwardly for a moment, before Sousuke pulled Makoto close. He just held him, breathing in his scent. He would not cry, he had sworn he wouldn’t, but when Makoto pulled back a bit and there were tears in his eyes, they both chuckled and Sousuke couldn’t help that one damned tear that rolled down his cheek. 

Makoto turned and dug into his backpack. When he turned back, he held something in his fist. “I…I’m not sure, but…I thought…maybe…I got you something, maybe you like it.” He shoved what he held into Sousuke’s hand. 

Sousuke could have kicked himself. He hadn’t even thought of getting Makoto something. Slowly he opened his hand. There was a little orca pendant on a leather band. He looked up and swallowed hard. “I like it very much.”

Makoto took it from him again and hung it around his neck. “This way, I’m always with you. And listen to me, when did I get so sappy?”

“You’ve always been.” Sousuke pulled him close and kissed him gently.


	15. Chapter 15

They had kissed until they had heard the twins trampling up the stairs, yelling for Makoto and it was time to go. Sousuke helped putting Makoto’s large bag into the trunk of the car, squeezed Makoto’s hand once more and then watched as the family drove off. 

Wandering through the streets, Sousuke didn’t feel like going back to his place. It would feel empty without Makoto there and it would still smell of them and he wasn’t sure if he could take that yet. He felt the little orca on his skin and with each step he took, he felt worse. 

They hadn’t promised each other anything. They had tried to not make plans but the longer they’d been together, the more often Makoto spoke about the time when he came back and what they could do then. Sousuke wanted to look forward to that time. But a few months would go by and Makoto was surrounded by lots of people. Who knew what happened during that time? 

They had never spoken about feelings. Apart from Makoto whispering ‘my Sou’ a few days ago – and it made Sousuke’s heart beating faster each time he thought of it -, they hadn’t even referred to each other as boyfriends. All of a sudden, Sousuke knew he needed to tell Makoto what he felt. He started to run. With a bit of luck, he would make it to the train station on time.

When he finally made it to the platform, the train started to move and soon was too fast to keep up. 

Sousuke slowed down and stood at the end of the platform, watching the train getting smaller as the distance grew bigger.


	16. Chapter 16

_Hey_

Sousuke blinked at his mobile that had beeped as soon as he had entered his place.

_Hi, what’s up?_

_Nothing. Just…_

Waiting, Sousuke’s heart clenched. Makoto couldn’t even be in Tokyo yet and already he was sending him a message? Had he changed his mind? Reaching for the pendant, he waited.

_I miss you_

For a moment, Sousuke had thought he couldn’t breathe, but now he smiled widely. 

_Sap_

_!!! Don’t you miss me, too?_

_*nods* Yes, I do._

Pondering if he should tell Makoto that he had run through the streets to see his train leaving, Sousuke decided against it. He didn’t want to tell Makoto how strongly he felt for him in a text message. 

_How long until you’re there?_

_I’ve only just left!_

_An hour ago._

_Bit more. Train’s supposed to arrive at 10 pm_

Of course, Sousuke knew all that. When Makoto arrived at the train station in Tokyo, he would need another hour to get to the place he shared with a fellow student, who was never there anyway, so he had the place mostly to himself. 

They kept texting for a while and Makoto sent him a few selfies where he made faces at this or that and it cracked Sousuke up. Only then he noticed that Makoto was wearing his training jacket. 

_Thief! ;)_

A selfie with a puppy-eyed Makoto arrived.

_I’ll send it back. You’re right, you need that. Sorry._

Sousuke looked at the photo some more and a warm tingling feeling pooled somewhere in his stomach. Makoto had taken his jacket, he wanted to wear it around Tokyo. He wanted a piece of him there. He smiled.

 _Keep it. I want you to have it._ Sousuke took a selfie and hoped his smile didn’t look too creepy.

_:* I left mine in your closet_

Sousuke jumped up and opened the door of his closet. There it was, Makoto’s Iwatobi jacket. Part of him wanted to laugh. He could hardly show up at Samezuka in an Iwatobi jacket. Another part of him wanted to put the jacket on and never take it off again. 

_You’re nuts :D_

_Part of my charm_

They texted back and forth for a while and Sousuke thought they had never flirted like this before. He liked it a lot. It would make the time without Makoto a lot easier. 

When Makoto mentioned that he still had some reading to do, Sousuke wished he could do it like he had done with the other things he had to read. On his bed, snuggled up, but that wouldn’t happen for a long time. He sent him a sad smiley and then a wink-smiley and told him to do his reading. School was important.


	17. Chapter 17

Sousuke had hardly slept that night. Makoto wasn’t there and nobody had made him breakfast. It was raining and his shoulder hurt so much that he put on his brace again to make it through the day at the shop. As he grumpily sipped the cup of tea he’d made himself, his eyes fell on the brochure of Makoto’s university that was still lying on his table. He leafed through it again, read this and that and then stuffed it into the back pocket of his jeans when he left the house. 

He read some more when his mother made him take a little break. This all sounded interesting, but how was anyone able to know which classes to take? 

“Sousuke.”

He looked up when his mother stepped close and tried to hide the brochure.

She sat down next to him. “You’re here for a bit more than a year.”

“Two years, I came back two years ago.”

Shaking her head, she looked at him. “A year since you come here to help me every morning.”

He nodded and braced himself. Obviously he was in for another lecture about finally doing something useful or at least take some courses at the local evening school so he could take over the shop. 

“I know it doesn’t make sense to tell you what you should do or not. I know your dream has been destroyed and it’s not coming back. It’s nice to see, though, that you found something that holds your attention.”

Sousuke threw her a sideways look. So she had seen him reading. 

“I just wanted to let you know, if this is the way you want to go…don’t worry about the money.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

She got up and stood in front of him. “Sousuke Yamazaki, you are talking to your mother. I have known you even since before you were born. You are a lot of things, but you are not stupid. You know what I’m talking about. Ever since the Tachibana boy came back, you listened closely when someone talked about university and now you are reading this brochure and you have even marked courses in it.”

Before Sousuke could tell her that Makoto had marked those classes and he was just trying to imagine what a day looked like for Makoto in Tokyo, she continued.

“I have saved some money for you to get a good education. If this is what you want to do, do it.” 

“But I need to help you here with the shop until father is better.”

“Son, business is well enough for me to hire some help. Don’t use that as an excuse.” She patted his cheek and then reached for the leather band he was wearing around his neck, looking at the pendant. 

Sousuke couldn’t help but blush. What should he tell his mother if she asked about the orca?

She just looked at him and then smiled. “You’re not cut out to be a shop keeper and you don’t want to be here anyway.” With that, she let go and turned to the customer who had just entered.


	18. Chapter 18

Some evenings, he talked to Makoto on his laptop, others, they just texted since Makoto was still on the way back. Sousuke missed him more each day and even though he was happy that Makoto didn’t change his mind and still eagerly told him about the things he did, it wasn’t the same. The nights where Makoto was busy and just couldn’t talk to him because he was still in some class or had to study were the worst. 

Makoto had studied while he’d been in his place, too. But then, Sousuke could pretend to read something or listen to music and just look at Makoto wearing his glasses and a concentrated look on his face. 

Not even being at Samezuka for the training helped brighten his mood. Some days he managed to stay focused, to shove everything outside the pool area away long enough to be a fair coach, to support those who needed it and to demand a better performance from those who slacked off. 

“Sousuke!” Nitori came over.

“The new schedules are in the office, Nitori.”

“I saw them, thank you. Big news, Sousuke!”

He threw the younger swimmer a look. What was so exciting about new training schedules? 

“Don’t look, but did you see the man up in the stands?”

Sousuke nodded. He had seen him but he had thought it was someone from the academy. 

“He’s a scout from a university in Tokyo.” Nitori whispered all excitedly. “Who do you think is he here for?”

“Could be anyone.” Sousuke understood Nitori’s excitement all too well. He had been hoping and wishing each time he knew a scout was present, even now his heart was beating faster at the memory. “Get in the water.” It could as well be Nitori, the boy had improved so much in the past months. 

“Hai!”

Nitori got on the starting block and after adjusting his swim goggles, he jumped into the water gracefully and showed what he could do. 

Sousuke smiled. He would never get that chance again, but if he could help one of the swimmers to pursue their dream, he would do anything he could.


	19. Chapter 19

Very often, he talked to Makoto at night, sometimes just via texts other times on skype. Sousuke beamed widely when Makoto’s face appeared on the screen.

“Hey, how are you doing?”

“Good…now. How’s it going in the big city?”

Makoto chuckled. “After a while you stop being overwhelmed by the sheer size of this city and just become part of it.”

Sousuke felt that the smile on his face slipped away. 

“Don’t worry, I’m still the small town boy.” Makoto started to tell a story of how he had outed himself as someone from a smaller city by making a comment that everybody found amusing. 

“That’s mean! How could they laugh?”

“It was quite funny. The moment I’d said it, I noticed how stupid it was and laughed, too.” Makoto laughed again. 

The sound washed over Sousuke and it felt so good to hear Makoto’s voice after a long day. 

Makoto finished counting down where he had been, who he had met and what he had done. “What have you done today?”

“Missed you.” Even on the screen, Sousuke could see that Makoto was blushing. He chuckled nervously. It was true, though, he was missing Makoto every day.

“So you just sat around and missed me?” Makoto winked.

“Basically, yes.” Sousuke poked his tongue out at the screen. 

“How much did you miss me?”

“Lots.”

Makoto blew him a little kiss and Sousuke smiled. 

“Sou?” Makoto rubbed the back of his neck and blushed even more. “Did you ever…”

“Did I ever…what?” Sometimes Makoto was just too cute when he didn’t know how to ask for something. 

“Jerkoffthinkingofme?”

Sousuke blinked. Had he heard that right? “Come again?”

“That, too.” Even though his face was very red now, Makoto grinned.

Blinking some more and feeling the heat rise on his face, Sousuke cleared his throat. Should he admit that he did that very often? Usually after they had ended one of their Skype-sessions? 

“Did you?”

Makoto squirmed a bit and then nodded, averting his eyes. 

“Do you imagine it’s me touching you?” Sousuke pulled at the collar of his t-shirt. It was getting warm in here, right? He never thought about Makoto doing that and now all kinds of images flooded his mind. 

“Yes,” whispered. 

“Would you…” Sousuke sat up a bit straighter. “Would you do it?”

Makoto’s eyes snapped up to the screen. “What do you mean?”

“Here…now?”

Staring open-mouthed for a moment, Makoto’s eyes went wide. “You want me to…? In front of…?”

“Is your roommate there?”

Makoto frowned. “Why?”

“Is he?”

“No.”

“Then you could do it, he wouldn’t hear it.”

Makoto sighed in relief. “For a moment I thought you wanted me to invite him or something.”

A wave of jealousy raged through Sousuke and he made a growling noise. “I’m not going to share you!”

A happy grin showed on Makoto’s face. “I don’t want to be shared anyway.”

“Not happening.” Sousuke grinned. “Okay…so you’re alone. Nobody but me to see what you’re doing.”

“You really want me to wank?” Makoto’s eyes were shining.

Nodding, Sousuke wasn’t too sure what they had gotten into here. The thought was exciting. But watching Makoto masturbating…wasn’t that a bit perverted? Then again, he would watch him if he were next to him, too. 

“Only if you do it, too!” Makoto demanded.

All that talk about wanking had shot down to Sousuke’s groin and he was already half-hard. He put the laptop down on his bed and took his t-shirt off.

“Hey! I can’t see anything!” 

Sousuke adjusted the screen with the camera a bit. “Better?”

“Yes!” Makoto whispered absent-mindedly and seemed to take in Sousuke’s naked chest. 

“Nothing you haven’t seen before.” It was true. Makoto had seen him at the pool so often and then when he was at his place, even all naked. Why did this feel even more intimate?

“Still a sight to see.” Makoto grinned. 

“Now you!”

Makoto wiggled out of his t-shirt and Sousuke gasped. He knew that Mako was gorgeous but it was as if he saw that for the first time. 

Biting his lower lip, Makoto slid his hand down his chest and then his fingers vanished inside his sweatpants. 

Sousuke made a little sound. Bloody tease! His own cock pushed against the fabric of his track pants and he palmed it. He wished Makoto had taken the stupid sweatpants off as well, but he didn’t dare suggest it. Maybe that the rest was left to the imagination was even more exciting. 

Makoto was breathing heavier now, too. He closed his eyes and his head fell back. 

If they were in the same room, Sousuke would take the chance to kiss and nibble at the exposed throat and it frustrated him that he could only watch and not touch this walking wet dream who started to squirm already. 

“Sou…” A desperate whisper.

“Right here, Mako. Does it feel good?” Without even noticing, Sousuke had lowered his voice. 

Nodding, Makoto bit his lip again and bucked his hips into his fist.

Damn, that was hot! Sousuke wiggled out of his track pants and then stroked himself through his boxer briefs. When he usually worked his cock with intent, determined to bring himself off quickly, he was too focused on what Makoto was doing.

When Makoto opened his eyes and looked directly at him, Sousuke moaned. Those big green eyes, clouded over with lust…Sousuke knew he would never get enough of that look. 

Then Makoto tensed and threw his head back, his mouth opening in a silent cry as he came.

That was all Sousuke needed. The sight alone turned him on so much that he shot his load, too.

Makoto looked at the screen again and they both just looked at each other, panting hard. 

“Shit!” 

Sousuke blinked. “What?”

“Roomie came back. Gotta go!”

With that, the screen went black. 

Sousuke groaned and rolled onto his back. This had been intense. And then the stupid roomie ruined the moment. Alright, they both had come, but Sousuke wanted to watch Makoto come down from his high and talk to him, tell him sweet nothings and let him know that he meant a lot to him. 

He waited for a moment, maybe Mako would come back. But all he saw was the ‘call ended’.


	20. Chapter 20

Sousuke sat next to the pool and went over some schedules and competition registrations when someone stepped up to him.

“Sousuke Yamazaki?”

Looking up, Sousuke nodded. He got up when the man introduced himself. All Sousuke heard was ‘scouting’ and ‘university’. Oh, so this was the man who had hung out in the stands for the last couple of days. He wondered which one of the swimmers was the lucky guy. 

“…and we wanted to talk about the options. If you are interested, that is.”

Damn, now he had missed who this was about. Fiddling with his papers, Sousuke nodded. 

“There is a small restaurant not far from here. We could talk there.” The man looked encouragingly at him.

Sousuke knew the place, the cook knew his parents’ shop and bought a certain kind of rice from them. “If you gave me a couple of minutes to take these papers back and get changed…?”

The scout was waiting for him in front of the building when Sousuke left. They walked to the restaurant in silence and Sousuke still didn’t know who would get an offer to swim for the university. Maybe Nitori? He was really great lately. Or Momo? Momo had potential, but he lacked the attitude, was too much of a big child, not taking things serious enough. 

When they were seated, the man looked at him. “We have been here at Samezuka before.”

Nodding, Sousuke waited. This wasn’t unusual. The academy had a good reputation and lots of swimmers got invited to training camps before. 

“Usually, we are looking for swimmers, but that’s not what I’m here for this time.”

Blinking, Sousuke frowned slightly. What was this about?

“And you weren’t even listening to what I was saying before, were you?” A smile showed on the man’s face.

“I’m sorry. I thought it was about one of the swimmers, there are some real talents on the team this year.”

“I know and my colleagues will take care of them. This is about…Sousuke, we saw you when you were still swimming, before that unfortunate incident with your shoulder.”

Holding his breath, Sousuke stared at the man. The man knew him? He knew what had happened? Why was he here? Was he here for him? But what did he have to offer one of the big universities?

“We wondered what you would do and it looks like you can’t let go of the sport. Have you ever thought about going to university?”

“Lately…” If he was honest, he had thought about it quite often. He had tried to picture himself as a student. But then he wouldn’t have time to coach anymore and that was the only thing that kept him sane – aside from Makoto, but he wasn’t here.

“Sousuke, you have a real talent. I’ve been watching you handle the swimmers, was able to take a look at the schedules you worked on and I liked what I saw. We need someone like you on our team.”

The food they had ordered arrived but Sousuke didn’t pay attention. “What…what do you mean?”

“We’re offering you a spot on the team.”

Sousuke got more confused by the minute. “The team?”

“Just not as a swimmer.”

“As what, then?” He didn’t understand. He couldn’t swim on that level anymore, why would they want him on the team?

“As a coach.”

When Sousuke didn’t say anything, the man continued. “This is new for us, too. Just as we offer swimmers a chance, we want to do that on the coaching side, too. You would work with the head coach and all the other departments, too. But mainly, you would be a student at our university.”

“A student…but you said as coach…”

“You were a swimmer, Sousuke, and yet you had to go to classes and graduate from high school, didn’t you?”

Nodding, Sousuke blinked again. They wanted him to go to university and work for the team as coach…or…coach-in-training?

“It would be the same here. You will attend the classes you need for this program and be at the practices. If you work hard and graduate, we might have an open position on the coaching team.” The man smiled. “What do you say?”

“I…I’m flattered, this is a big honour…”

The man nodded and handed him his card. “I do understand that you want to think about it. Call me when you’ve reached a decision. We’re a few weeks into the academic year already, so you better not take too long.”


	21. Chapter 21

Sousuke had gone through the papers the scout had given him a few times. It seemed they had already worked out the details, there even was a schedule for the classes he had to attend and the courses he had to take, as well as the schedule of when he was expected to be at the swim training and coaches’ meetings. All he had to do now was call and say yes. Why did he hesitate?

He hadn’t even told Makoto. He couldn’t tell anyone until he made a decision. 

It would be so easy to say no and leave everything the way it was. Sousuke knew what he was doing and if he had to take over his parents’ shop later, he would have enough experience to do it. But as his mother had said, he wasn’t really cut out to be a shopkeeper, it didn’t make him happy. It was just something he did, more because he wanted to help than something he had dreamed of all of his life. Going to Tokyo, being a student and part of the team sounded very exciting. It might be a bit difficult to get back into studying after a whole year of not handling books and classwork but did he really dread the hard work? No, that wasn’t it. It was more…what if he went there and once again couldn’t live up to the expectations everybody had in him? If he made the call he would have to tell everyone that he was leaving and everyone would expect him to be great. That had happened before and look where it got him. Damn, his shoulder hurt today!

Hauling a box of sodas onto the shelf at the shop with a grunt, he startled when someone stepped up to him. 

“Ah, it’s the young man our Makoto calls friend.”

“Tachibana-san!” Sousuke smiled when he noticed the person was Makoto’s grandfather. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I was just out for a walk and thought I’d pay you a visit.”

Sousuke wasn’t sure what the old man wanted from him. Had he done anything to offend the family? Or did he know more about Makoto and him? He sure wouldn’t approve, right?

Makoto’s grandfather pointed to a few things on the shelves with his cane and went to the cash register, where Sousuke’s mother greeted him like any other customer. Sousuke was quick to collect the items and bring them to the front of the shop.

“Sousuke, carry the bag for Tachibana-san.”

“Of course!” Grabbing the bag, Sousuke followed the old man outside. 

They walked, a lot slower than Sousuke usually would have, in silence for a while and Sousuke tried to find good arguments why it wasn’t wrong for Makoto and him to be together. It was just the way they were, there was nothing to be done about it. It wasn’t a phase. Would the old man even try to understand that? 

“Why is it that an intelligent young man like you stocks shelves in his parents’ shop?”

Sousuke startled again, not having expected this question. “Mother needed help.” It was the thing that he had tried to tell himself for more than a year now but it wasn’t true. His mother might have needed help, but as she said the other day, she could have hired someone. He just did it, so he had something to do when he wasn’t coaching the team. 

Makoto’s grandfather stopped and looked at him. “I have heard that you do great things at Samezuka. I’m sure you could do even more. Somewhere else.”

Sousuke tried not to frown. Did anyone know about the offer? He hadn’t talked to anyone. 

“Don’t let this small town limit you, Sousuke. Do like the others have done. Go, explore the world, try out your options. It’s your duty as a young man to do that. If it doesn’t work out, you can still stock shelves later.”

Sousuke didn’t know what to say. He shifted the shopping bag from one arm to the other as they reached the Tachibana’s home. 

Makoto’s mother opened the door, greeted them and took the bag from Sousuke. 

“Thank you, Sousuke, it was very kind to carry this for him.” She smiled. 

“Anytime.”

She invited him in for lunch or at least for a tea, but Sousuke declined politely. “I have to get back to the shop, sorry. And then I have to be at practice.” 

“Think about my words, young Yamazaki.” Makoto’s grandfather nodded and shuffled inside.

Mrs. Tachibana nodded and he said his good-bye, all the way back thinking about what Makoto’s grandfather had told him.


	22. Chapter 22

Slumping into his seat on the train, Sousuke exhaled deeply. For the first time in the past couple of days, he had time to breathe. He had taken a detour on his way back to the shop that day, going to all the places he had made lots of memories at. He sat at the spot where Makoto and he had watched the fireworks for a long time. 

What did he have to lose? His life was in pieces as it was and staying here wouldn’t make it whole again. Going away would probably not do that either, but at least he would try something and move on instead of mourning a lost dream. 

When he came back to the shop he had told his mother about the offer and that he would accepting it. He couldn’t remember ever having seen her smile that widely. She waved him close, took his face between her hands and pulled him down so she could kiss his forehead before she had shooed him out of the shop, so he could make the calls. 

The difficult part was going to practice as if nothing had happened. Until the papers were signed and the ink had dried, he wouldn’t tell anyone that he was about to leave. Maybe Nitori noticed that he stayed longer at the office and worked on schedules and plans that would only have to be adjusted until the end of the year. He said his good-bye to the team the day before and it hadn’t been easy. 

When he had told Makoto that he thought about coming to Tokyo, Makoto had looked at him sternly and then given him a speech about how expensive that was and that he should at least wait for when he had a few days off so he could show him the city. That was when Sousuke had decided to just surprise him with the news when he arrived. 

The university had taken care of everything. They had even sent him the ticket for the train and he knew where to get the key for the place he would share with someone. A student had dropped out after a few weeks, so he could move in. The place wasn’t too far from campus, so he wouldn’t lose too much time travelling each day, which sounded good. 

Looking out of the window, Sousuke didn’t pay attention to the changing landscape. He knew he should be glad that he could leave his past behind him now, but he had been in this position before. Two years ago, he had left his home with high-flying plans and a dream. It hadn’t worked out, so he was a bit more careful now. He couldn’t help the small smile on his face and the tingly feeling in his belly, though. He knew he would have to work hard to catch up but as his mother had said, he wasn’t stupid. The smile turned into a grin. If all else failed, he could still ask Makoto to tutor him. 

He was already looking forward to seeing Makoto’s face when he showed up and told him that it wasn’t only for a short visit and that he was going to study at the same university. Makoto would look at him with those incredibly large green eyes of his and then the smile would spread and he would laugh and throw his arms around his neck and Sousuke would finally hold him in his arms again, he could picture the scene clearly. He didn’t know how much time they could spend together with classes and courses and practices and whatnot but just knowing that Makoto wasn’t out of reach anymore made Sousuke feel better. 

Reaching for his shoulder, adjusting the brace a bit, Sousuke tried to get comfortable in his seat and searched for an album on his MP3 player, so he could listen to some music as the landscape zoomed by. 

A few hours later, Sousuke was standing on the platform with his backpack and bag and took a deep breath. Here he was, in Tokyo, in his new life. Now he needed to find the bus that would take him to his new place. Maybe he should call Makoto and tell him that he was here? But no, he didn’t want to spoil the surprise and he really wanted to see Makoto’s face when he found out. 

Taking another deep breath, Sousuke started for the exit but then stopped and blinked. There, by the escalators stood a guy that looked a lot like Makoto, but that couldn’t be. Shaking his head, Sousuke scolded himself. He was tired from the excitement of the last days and the long train ride, now he started to see Makoto everywhere. This city was huge, Makoto could be anywhere. 

Then he saw the sign the young man was holding. YAMAZAKI it said. That was a common last name, Sousuke was sure there had been lots of people with that name on the train. But then the guy started to grin and turned the sign around. ‘Yes, you!’ Sousuke saw for a moment before the guy dropped the sign and started running towards him. 

Sousuke dropped his bag as his mind still tried to make sense of the scene and caught Makoto. They hugged for a moment before Makoto stepped back and straightened his sweater. 

“You’re finally here!” He beamed.

“How…where…when?” Sousuke was totally confused.

Makoto chuckled. “Grandfather talked to your mother and news travel fast.” He grinned. “Come on, let’s go.”

“She wasn’t supposed to tell anybody!”

“He knew anyway. Don’t ask me how he does it, but sometimes it’s like he can read minds.” Makoto reached for Sousuke’s bag. 

“So you know?” Sousuke almost pouted.

Makoto beamed. “You’re adorable when you’re pouting. I’m so happy! Sou, you can study and be a coach! You’ll be fantastic!”

Sousuke followed Makoto, who had started walking to the exit, picking up the sign he had dropped on the way. “It’s so good seeing you again. But, Mako…I need to be at that place to pick up my keys. They gave me a place to stay.”

“I know.”

Before Sousuke could question where Makoto led him, they had made their way out of the busy station and Makoto steered him towards the right bus stop. 

When they were seated in the back of the bus, Makoto dug into his pocket and produced a key. “Here you go.”

Sousuke looked at the offered key. “I don’t understand.”

“Isamu moved out. Or better…he was being moved out. He never showed up for classes and failed to hand in his coursework. His room was vacant, so when I heard that you would come, I suggested it to the captain of the swim team.”

Sousuke frowned. “Who’s Isamu? And…You know the captain of the swim team?”

Makoto chuckled. “Sorry, you can’t know. Isamu was on the swim team and of course I know most of them, I have a lot of classes with them. Isamu shared a place with Kin, the captain.”

“They think it’s a good idea to let me share a place with the captain of the swim team?” It was probably good, though. A coach had to keep the distance and couldn’t be too close friends with any of the athletes he was coaching, but this Kin would be a good source of information on the individual swimmers.

“You will have your own room, don’t worry.”

Makoto started to point out buildings and parks on the way and Sousuke couldn’t really remember a single detail later. He was tried, just listened to Makoto’s voice and enjoyed how Makoto’s fingers had found his between them. So he would share a little place with the captain of the swim team and Makoto was friends with them. “How far is your place away?”

“We have another…” Makoto checked his watch, “…about twenty minutes before we’re there.”

“We’re going to your place?” 

Shaking his head, Makoto grinned. “I’d love for you to come over – it’s only about ten minutes from where you’ll be at - but not today. We have to get you settled into your room and you need to register, too. I’ll show you everything.”

Sousuke smiled. He was tired and excited and if he were honest, he was a little bit afraid of what the future might hold for him. But Makoto was at his side, everything would be alright.


	23. Chapter 23

Sousuke was on his way over to Makoto’s place. It had been a few very exciting weeks but he slowly got the hang of it, knew when he had to be where and didn’t get lost on the way to the pool anymore. That one time had been really embarrassing. He’d had a lot of work to do since he had missed the first weeks of the year but he had found a routine and even though it had meant some late nights and little sleep, Sousuke had thrown himself into it with more enthusiasm than he had shown for anything in years. He got along well with Kin and the team had welcomed him; he had already learned a lot from the coaches and liked that they were open to his ideas. 

When things got too stressful, Makoto’s funny and sexy texts kept him smiling and when he least expected it, Makoto sent him selfies in which he made faces. That one time he’d even sent him a photo of his naked chest and Sousuke couldn’t wait to explore that again. 

Makoto had peeked in once in a while, helping him with the bureaucracy of the university or giving him his own notes, teasing him all the time by calling him ‘Firstie’. Sometimes he just sat in the pool hall, watching, but this was the first time Sousuke went over without anything to study or plans to be talked through. Makoto’s roommate wasn’t there and they would have some alone-time. 

On the way he had stopped at the little corner store that reminded him so much of his parents’ shop and had gotten some Cokes, mochi and other candy he knew Makoto liked. 

“Someone’s in a good mood.” Makoto beamed when he opened the door.

Sousuke leaned in for a quick kiss. “We hardly spent more than ten minutes together since I came here. Now we have a few hours, what’s there not to be in a good mood about?” 

“Come on in.” 

He had been here before, but he’d never had the time to really look around. The place looked a lot like the small apartment Kin and he shared but with a lot less wet swim clothes hanging everywhere to dry. 

“See anything you like?” Makoto had taken two glasses from a small shelf. 

Sousuke put his shopping bag on the counter, wrapped an arm around Makoto and pulled him close. “I think so, yes.” He grinned.

Makoto wrapped his arms around him. “Why don’t you kiss me, then?”

They had stolen a few kisses here and there when nobody was looking, but it felt so much better having Makoto in his arms and kissing him properly. 

Makoto ran his hand up Sousuke’s back and pulled back when his fingers reached the brace. “Don’t tell me you’re still wearing this old thing!”

Sousuke looked away. He hadn’t even given it a lot of thought in the past weeks. It was a routine to put the brace on in the morning and to take it off in the evening. He did it out of habit, not really paying attention to what his shoulder did anymore. 

“Is your shoulder hurting?”

“Sometimes it does.” Sousuke wasn’t even sure about that.

“No, I mean, is it hurting, right now.” Makoto searched for his eyes and tried to hold his gaze. 

“It was a long day.” Now that Makoto questioned him, he felt the old injury and it would have been a lie to say his shoulders weren’t stiff from sitting and studying all day long. 

Makoto pulled back. “Off with the shirt, off with the brace.”

“What?”

“You’ll get one of the infamous Tachibana-massages!”

Sousuke chuckled. He didn’t mind Makoto’s hands on him at all. “What do you mean with infamous? Has anyone else gotten one since you left this summer?” he asked, his voice muffled by the fabric of the shirt he was pulling off. 

Makoto just grinned and wiggled his fingers. “Get on with it. My room’s over there, lie down, I’m getting the oil.”

If Sousuke wondered why Makoto had some massage oil stored in his bathroom, the thoughts were soon forgotten and he moaned when Makoto once again found the knots and tight spots in his shoulders and back that bothered him after a day like this. But that wasn’t the only reason to moan. He had missed this, being touched by Makoto. It immediately shot down to his dick and it didn’t take long for him to squirm. 

Makoto leaned forward and kisses his shoulder, thereby brushing his own hard cock against Sousuke. “Missed this so much.”

“Missed you. Please…Mako…”

It was as if Makoto understood what he wanted and they both were naked soon. They kissed and touched and Sousuke explored Makoto’s skin with his lips and tongue as if he did it for the first time. 

He kissed down Makoto’s chest and didn’t even stop to pay the nipples any attention, he went further down with determination. When he looked up for a moment, he saw Makoto watching him with wide eyes. Licking his lips, he bent down and wrapped his lips around the head of Makoto’s dick. 

Makoto yelled out and tried not to buck up.

Sousuke knew if Makoto had done that, he couldn’t have gone further, his gag reflex still too strong and uncontrollable. He placed a hand on Makoto’s hip and went a bit further. He had done it before, but it felt so new, so blind-blowingly different and exciting. Hot soft skin over hardness; Sousuke wanted to take it all. He started to explore with his tongue as he took another inch in. Then he sucked and Makoto made the best noises ever. 

When he let Makoto’s cock slip out of his mouth, he continued to kiss it and went further down to the cleanly shaven ball. He huffed out a chuckle. Once a swimmer, always a swimmer, he thought before he licked and gently sucked there. 

Makoto tensed. “Sou…Sou if you…if you don’t…I’ll…”

Sousuke stopped and sat up on his haunches. “Am I doing it wrong?”

Groaning, Makoto’s head slumped back into the pillows. “No!” He gestured to his cock that was still standing tall. “Or does it look like I didn’t like it?”

“But then…oh.” Sousuke understood. Makoto had been close, that’s why he wanted him to stop. He grinned. “Give me the lube?”

Makoto scrambled up onto his elbows. “I haven’t…you know…done this in a while, but if you want it that way…okay.”

Sousuke shook his head and reached for the tube. With beating heart he opened it and swallowed hard. He hadn’t planned this but the time seemed right. He squirted some of the lube on his fingers.

Frowning, Makoto watched for a moment until it dawned on him. He scrambled up further. “Let me help.”

Closing his eyes, Sousuke started to prepare himself. He had tried this quite a few times since the night he could go through with it, now he knew how to do it. He felt Makoto’s hot breath on his skin and shivered.

“So hot. Damn, Sou…” Makoto scrambled around.

Sousuke only felt it but then his eyes flew open when he not only felt his own fingers but Makoto’s intruding him, too. Leaning forward a bit to give Makoto better access, Sousuke almost smiled when he noticed that his practice had helped. He managed to keep his body from clamping up too much.

After a while, he was on his elbows and Makoto had taken over. 

“Gosh, Sou…” Makoto whispered. “I didn’t think…”

Sousuke didn’t even want to know what Makoto hadn’t thought, he didn’t want to think now, he could do the thinking later. It still felt a bit weird to have Makoto’s fingers moving inside him, but it got better. “Now, Mako…”

Makoto understood, the fingers vanished and Sousuke felt empty for a moment. One day he would dare to watch Makoto putting the condom on, but he knew he would lose it the moment he turned his head now. Clenching his teeth when he felt Makoto breaching him, he held his breath.

“Sou…breathe with me. In…and out…in…and out…”

Sousuke nearly laughed at how strained Makoto’s voice sounded. He was nowhere as calm as he pretended to be and that strangely relaxed Sousuke a bit. 

His own hard-on faded as Makoto inched in deeper and only came back when Makoto reached around and started to stroke him. “Ma…Mako…”

“Almost…almost there…” With one gentle push, Makoto was in all the way and they both breathed hard for a moment. “Can I…I’m going to move now, okay?”

Sousuke nodded. He felt overly full, but it wasn’t a bad feeling at all and he finally did it! It was like there was lube everywhere and still not enough as Makoto slowly pulled back. It should have been a relief, but Sousuke didn’t want him to pull out at the same time. He couldn’t believe that the whiny sounds he heard came from his own throat. 

Makoto pulled back a bit and then in again a few times and it was the most fantastic thing Sousuke had ever experienced. 

“Close…” Makoto panted out.

The grip around his dick tightened and Sousuke felt Makoto get even bigger as he pushed in again and held still. That was it, Makoto came inside him. The thought alone was so hot that Sousuke tightened around Makoto and reached down to wrap his hand around Makoto’s, stroking his cock hard and fast. He came only moments later. 

Slumping forwards, Sousuke tried to get his breath back. Which wasn’t too easy given the fact that Makoto had just slumped with him and was spread across his back now. He felt Makoto going limp inside him and it felt weird when he finally pulled out and rolled off of him. This time, he didn’t mind when Makoto got up, rummaged around and came back with some wet cloths and a towel. 

Sousuke hissed when he moved to clean up. 

“Are you alright?” Makoto sat down next to him and looked at him, concern in his eyes.

Nodding, Sousuke gave him a wry smile. “Does it always feel like this?”

“Are you sure I didn’t hurt you?”

“Stop worrying, I’m fine. Never been better. It’s just…” Sousuke tossed the towel aside and reached for Makoto. “You’ve been so close, now you’re…too far away.”

The wide smile returned to Makoto’s face and he scrambled close. “I’m sorry that I…you know…so fast. But after all these weeks…” He snuggled close. “And you’re really tight. I thought I’d come when I saw you preparing yourself. So hot…”

“Mako?”

“Hmm?”

Sousuke silenced him with a kiss.


	24. Chapter 24

Later, they drank the Coke as if it was the most expensive champagne and fed each other with the sweets Sousuke had brought. 

Sousuke had never been so relaxed in all of his life. There had always been swim practice and training with weights or running and school and tight schedules. He had competed, even with his friends, to be the best from the very beginning, which had put him in a rather lonely position. Now he was here with this wonderful man, who accepted him the way he was, who didn’t treat him like he was second-best because he was damaged. Makoto made him a better person. He was here because of him, if it hadn’t been for Makoto, Sousuke would probably have declined the university’s offer and still be stocking shelves and feeling sorry for himself. It was him who had opened a new world for him; a world full of exciting new things to learn, new friends, new challenges and a goal in life. And most importantly, he had showed him that he could still feel.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Makoto whispered and smiled.

Sousuke said nothing for a while. He didn’t want to ruin this perfect moment, but he knew he needed to let Makoto know. “I love you.” He whispered lowly and then looked away, biting his lower lip. There, he had said it. Makoto had made him, he could break him just as easily. It might have looked as if he had rescued Makoto that day at the pool when he was about to drown. But that wasn’t true, Makoto had saved him. Peeking from the corner of his eyes to see Makoto’s reaction, Sousuke’s heart was beating wildly. 

Makoto just snuggled closer, if that was even possible. He smiled softly as he threw him a look. “Good.”

Good. What kind of answer was that? “Good?” Just ‘good’?

“Yup.” Makoto nodded. “That’s good, because, you know…I feel the same, so it’s good that you do, too, so my feelings aren’t so alone and…”

Sousuke laughed and kissed Makoto deeply.


End file.
